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jerkin the gherkin 

A term used for male masturbation. Unsure of the background, maybe there are some guys out there with green vinegary penises.
"Brian had enough of MTV, so he turned to Television X for some real porn. Aroused, he began jerkin' the gherkin".

jerkin' the gherkin

Verb. To masturbate. Especially refers to male masturbation. See also spanking the monkey.
Mike said he sprained his wrist by playing the drums, but I know he really did it by jerkin' the gherkin.
jerkin' the gherkin by Grandmaster D November 30, 2006

jerkin the gerkin 

Beating off, paddling the pud, spanking the monkey, rubbing the meat.
jerkin the gerkin by matt October 28, 2003

jerkin'the gherkin 

to pleasure oneself by tugging and pulling on one's dick.
while watching Brazilian fart porn i was jerkin'the gherkin.

jerkin the gerkin 

choking the chicken beating off smackin and Wackin
(use females' hand when availble), put lube on hand and and stroke cock
jerkin the gerkin by Braveheart January 9, 2004

Jerkin' the gherkin

Slang for the holy practice of masturbating.
(Ted sees Ed's room is a complete shitstorm of messiness)
Ted: "Ed, have you been Jerkin' the Gherkin?"