the guy who every girl dies to have in their life. without him, life would be a mistake. you'd wonder why your on this planet. with him, he gives you everything that you can ever need and want. jakey knows how to treat a girl, especially his girlfriend. he will give her everything she needs, and all the attention that she wants. jakey will know right off the bat what makes you happy, and what will make you smile. and he will do anything to do those things all the time. he is always there for you no matter what, and will make you feel loved, and protected. he is overall amazing, caring, sweet, (mine), adorable, hot, charming, handsome, hot, sweet, (still mine).
"susan, do you wish you had a boyfriend?"

"yeah! i wish i had jakey."
by my love is jakey November 24, 2011
Top Definition
a hard-core alcoholic
At the subway station there were some piss-reeking jakeys around.
by Simo November 13, 2003
a total thievin wee gypsy alcky bastard
as in 'see they wee ned cunts outside parkhead wi the white lightnin an kappa tracksuits, they're a right bunch o fuckin jakeys!'
by Alastair November 22, 2003
A member of the street drinking fraternity
Etymology - believed to have been derived from jackdaw and jake which is scots for a cheap strong drink.
"You can easily tell the jakeys from the brass monkies. The jakeys have damaged red skin on their faces and the junkies have pallid see-through skin only a few microns thick."
by Juan Skinner July 01, 2005
Scottish slang for pisshead, old waster, wino,low-life.
Dirty Jakey cunt.
Go get with the fucking jakey`s.
by JesusJohn July 20, 2008
Scottish term for a dodger, junkie, alcoholic
Did you see that jakey on the back of the bus?
yeah with his eyes rolled in the back of his head the shit stains on his jeans.
by Rastaman36 May 16, 2009
Adjective applied primarily to clothing: sloppy, ill-fitting, or badly tailored
"Child, you are not going out in that jakey-looking skirt! Why, it's at least three inches longer in the back!"
by hootnannie October 22, 2009
A tri-headed penis that, when one head is cut off, two grow in its place, giving the owner the ability to have sex with more and more girls depending on how many times he cuts off his penis
Last night I had sex with all three of your sisters at the same time using my Jakey
by chickenpoop37 October 18, 2013
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