Greatest fucking band to exist. Let me explain.
"The Sev...Eight Days of Creation"
While you are told to believe (in the bible), there are seven days of creation, there is one that is actually left out.
"The Eight Day"
On the eight day, after God had created everything else, he decided he needed to make epic entertainment. After alot of thinking, he concluded in the 1990's and 2000's, that there would need to be a band. This band -- Tool. Maynard James Keenan was born on the eight day, and was frozen until 1964. From there on, the formation of the eight day and the greatest fucking band to exist came to be known as..."Tool".
Maynard equal to or greater than (=/>) God
Tool equal to or greater than (=/>) God
Maynard > Chuck Norris
Maynard = The Eight Day
Maynard =/= April 17, 1964
"The Sev...Eight Days of Creation"
While you are told to believe (in the bible), there are seven days of creation, there is one that is actually left out.
"The Eight Day"
On the eight day, after God had created everything else, he decided he needed to make epic entertainment. After alot of thinking, he concluded in the 1990's and 2000's, that there would need to be a band. This band -- Tool. Maynard James Keenan was born on the eight day, and was frozen until 1964. From there on, the formation of the eight day and the greatest fucking band to exist came to be known as..."Tool".
Maynard equal to or greater than (=/>) God
Tool equal to or greater than (=/>) God
Maynard > Chuck Norris
Maynard = The Eight Day
Maynard =/= April 17, 1964
Vicarious
Prison Sex
Sober
The Pot
etc.
Tool needs to release a new fucking album soon.
I'll probably die if they don't.
Prison Sex
Sober
The Pot
etc.
Tool needs to release a new fucking album soon.
I'll probably die if they don't.
by Tool is God. Maynard is God. May 28, 2008
Someone who writes a definition for a word on Urban Dictionary that has been posted a billion times before. If the definition is already there, why the fuck would you waste your time posting the exact same thing?
A tool is a person who is used by other peo--STFU already!
I wrote this on an impulse. I wrote that on an impulse. I don't need to justify anything to you! Whatever, its just the internet.(ahhh closure)
I wrote this on an impulse. I wrote that on an impulse. I don't need to justify anything to you! Whatever, its just the internet.(ahhh closure)
by smelly arthritis 2 August 30, 2006
A sad soul who is being used by others often without even realizing it. Often times people other than the "tool" realize what's going on but choose to laugh at the "tool" instead. It is often very sad as the tool usually finds out after he has been all used up and been made a fool of.
Sometimes a tool is thought of as a jerk, but is usually a nice generous guy who doesn't mind doing favors. Most of the time the tool is just going through depression or thinks that if he does things it will get people off his back.
Tools often are put down as most people don't really like them. Tools are also too stupid to know when they're being used. If you see someone being used you should help them out; most of their "friends" are often lying to them to make them look like an ass in public. Tools can be spotted by causing scenes in public, and people telling them that they're "cool".
Sometimes a tool is thought of as a jerk, but is usually a nice generous guy who doesn't mind doing favors. Most of the time the tool is just going through depression or thinks that if he does things it will get people off his back.
Tools often are put down as most people don't really like them. Tools are also too stupid to know when they're being used. If you see someone being used you should help them out; most of their "friends" are often lying to them to make them look like an ass in public. Tools can be spotted by causing scenes in public, and people telling them that they're "cool".
Person 1: So that bitch Jessica was just using him like a tool for his homework?
Person 2: Yeah, he was oblivious. She messed with his head just because he would do things for her. He thought he was in love. I tried to help him out, but it just wouldn't work out. After he found out he was so embarrassed and started to cry.
Person 1: How sad. She really is a bitch.
Person 2: And to think that she went out with him knowing how much it would break his heart. I don't think she ever really liked him for who he was.
Person 1: Well at least he can learn from this.
Person 2: Yeah, he's a good guy.
Person 2: Yeah, he was oblivious. She messed with his head just because he would do things for her. He thought he was in love. I tried to help him out, but it just wouldn't work out. After he found out he was so embarrassed and started to cry.
Person 1: How sad. She really is a bitch.
Person 2: And to think that she went out with him knowing how much it would break his heart. I don't think she ever really liked him for who he was.
Person 1: Well at least he can learn from this.
Person 2: Yeah, he's a good guy.
by banlo990 April 24, 2007
One of the most talented and influential progressive rock bands of the past couple of decades. Formed out of Los Angeles in 1990 by vocalist Maynard James Keenan, guitarist Adam Jones, drummer Danny Carey, and bassist Paul D'Amour (later replaced by Justin Chancellor during the process of recording AEnima, the band's 2nd studio album) Tool has defied normalcy since the begining of their existence and despises tool's, hence the bands name "Tool", however the band claims they got the name from Maynard, saying that they wanted to, "bring out to the toolshed and beat some sense into him." for more information, visit the band's website or wikipedia
by jakefst September 17, 2008
That one guy with the tribal arm tattoo and does everything that maxim and mens health tells him to do. We all know this guy!
Remember that week when spinning rims were cool? yeah he had them , yeah john is still wearing his collar all the way up what a Tool!!
by GorrilaVich July 11, 2008
One, Usually a man, who is a loser, but nobody really bother to tell him to get lost. A tool typically wears clothing from Aeropostale, Hollister, Abercrombie, and or American Eagle. A tool usually (but not always) makes 1st grade jokes, is stupid, Has an ear pierced, or is just annoying. A tool is usually used for people to "borrow" money from. The tool sometimes KNOWS he is buying his friends: A loser.
"Micheal is such a tool."
Or
Micheal: "I know why I'm getting F's. I haven't been laid in weeks! I better go to American Eagle"
Or
"I put my iPod in my pocket and it went through the wash. I better go ask best friend Micheal for some money."
Or
Micheal: "I know why I'm getting F's. I haven't been laid in weeks! I better go to American Eagle"
Or
"I put my iPod in my pocket and it went through the wash. I better go ask best friend Micheal for some money."
by The Felmale John Lennon September 26, 2009
1. Something that is used to assist with the modification of an object or situation.
2. Something that is used to create or destroy.
3. Slang synonym for the males sexual reproduction whatsit.
4. Someone who does seemingly silly things; often used as a term of endearment, but not always!
2. Something that is used to create or destroy.
3. Slang synonym for the males sexual reproduction whatsit.
4. Someone who does seemingly silly things; often used as a term of endearment, but not always!
I am a tool because I have been used to:
Improve someones ego;
Distract them from the mediocrity of their own existance;
Make someone else jealous;
To improve someones elses relationship (how bizarre);
To get them a valentines day present (this year)
For love.
For happiness.
For laughter.
To do everything for them, and in return:
To accept all of the guilt.
To hold all of the pain.
To take all of the blame.
(It was never a game).
A good tradesman respects his tools!!
A Hammer is a tool both used to create and to destroy.
My penis is a somewhat rusty tool I must admit (only from lack of use!!).
I hit my penis with a hammer while making pancakes (as you do)
That sure modified the fuck out of both the objects involved and the situation:
I created a lot of pain
I destroyed the pancake batter (all over the floor), and my willy - must admit i chipped a bit off of the hammer handle too!!
I hit my tool with a tool; I am such a tool
I do not regret being a tool - my penis however has a somewhat different (slanted) view on the subject
Sunday 02/11/2008
Improve someones ego;
Distract them from the mediocrity of their own existance;
Make someone else jealous;
To improve someones elses relationship (how bizarre);
To get them a valentines day present (this year)
For love.
For happiness.
For laughter.
To do everything for them, and in return:
To accept all of the guilt.
To hold all of the pain.
To take all of the blame.
(It was never a game).
A good tradesman respects his tools!!
A Hammer is a tool both used to create and to destroy.
My penis is a somewhat rusty tool I must admit (only from lack of use!!).
I hit my penis with a hammer while making pancakes (as you do)
That sure modified the fuck out of both the objects involved and the situation:
I created a lot of pain
I destroyed the pancake batter (all over the floor), and my willy - must admit i chipped a bit off of the hammer handle too!!
I hit my tool with a tool; I am such a tool
I do not regret being a tool - my penis however has a somewhat different (slanted) view on the subject
Sunday 02/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 20, 2008