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i'm late 

the single most terrifying pair of words any man can ever hear. Resulting in having convince the women to go to the abortion clinic
man - hey babe how are you doing?
women - i'm late
man - F#*&(&* Christ!
i'm late by spastic biscuit April 10, 2005

I'm late 

I missed a day,
What else could I say,
That I isn't gay,
And that's today!
I'm late for my schedule write up, dang.
I'm late by Don't you know who I am November 28, 2023

"i'm allergic to latex."

"what are you doing, use a condom!"
"it doesn't feel as goooooood."
"too bad!"

"what are you doing, use a condom!"
"i'm allergic to latex."
"oh, okay then."

I'm HIV positive, and allergic to latex. 

It's when someone is coming on to you, that does not currently, nor ever will have a shred of a chance.
Guy/Girl: Your so Handsome/Pretty...
Response: Well I'll have you know, that I'm HIV positive, and allergic to latex...

Im Thinking About Shit Later 

An excuse to give to your friends when your so faded you fall asleep sitting up.
Austin (while filming): tyler are you sleeping?
Tyler (wakes up): What man? Im thinking about shit later.