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too much internet for today 

When you're on the internet and well, you know, something kinda happens. You know. You know. You know- 😏
*on the computer screen a guy vomits by accident but the video is him eating a harmless doughnut*
Guy watching: welp, that's too much internet for today.
*the guy watching closes the computer and grabs his phone out of his pocket to call his therapist*
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Gay For Today 

1. just being plain fruity or hella gay just for the day; cannot be gay for the week because its just flaming homo as fuck
2. when a certain person acts gay by saying gay shit or doing it for a laugh
3. something you do when theres nothing else to do when hanging around with your friends
4. when you get that gut feeling to be gay, but not be entirely gay cuz its just plain gay just for the day or the rest of the night but as soon as it hits midnight that day, the gayness has to stop but if your acting hella gay when its 12:01 a.m. or past that, you are OFFICIALLY GAY.
5. to put it simply, just being gay for the day. tomorrow will be no different.....OR WILL IT? DUN! DUN! DUN!
1. "Hi Brendon! How are you today?"

"Get the hell away from me, blud! You hella gay!"

"Dude, stop tripping, I'm just being gay for today"

"Oh look! It's Orlando in a tutu!"

*BIG LAUGHS*

"Stop laughin'! This shit ain't funny, nucca! Pink is the new green, bitch! Brendon, lemme get half of that human burrito!"

"Ok....you guys are just plain gay...except Hardale, he's just gay for today..."

"Not me! I'm in a tutu! This shit is flaming metro, brraaahhhh!"

"Your hella gay Orlando..."

2. "Dude its almost midnight, stop touching my ass"

"I'm just being gay for today dude, stop being a fucking panzy pie"

"Panzy pie? What the fuck is that?"

*12:01 A.M.*

"Something....Right...Here!"

*Licks Finger and Touches Dudes Asscrack with it*

"DUDE! NOT COOL! YOUR FUCKING GAY!"

"ah....shit, don't tell Daniella on Myspace about this...."

"........Daniella's a dude...."

"FUCK!!!"

3. *WHISTLES*

*WALKS INTO ROOM*

*BIG GAY METROSEXUAL MOANS*

"Brendon! What the fuck are you doing?!?!"

"I FINALLY GOT FEELINS FOR SHANTELLE! AINT THAT RIGHT BABY?"

*man voice* ".....UH SURE, KEEP PUSHING THAT MEAT, HELPS HIDING MINE..."

"WHAT THE FUCK...?!"

"HAHA, BRENDON, YOU FUCKED A TRANNY!"


Gay For Today by Deep Fried Vagina January 19, 2009

is there anything i can help you look for today? 

What a first class sales person says to a prospective customer . Easing the tension and making them feel comfortable in giving you their money for whatever you're selling. Say is there anything I can help you look for today?
Yo, that salesman greeted me when I came into the store to buy a mattress he asked me if there was anything he could do to help me find what I was looking for and I really appreciated his genuine comments. He said is there anything I can help you look for today?

thanks for today 

“Thanks for today” or “thank you for today,” followed by offering a handshake means you have been dismissed. Commonly used in the UK construction industry where many are self-employed, umbrella PAYE, or agency & little notice is needed.

Thanks for today is brutal, passive aggressive & means you’ve probably been binned on your first day. Most UK agencies force a contractor to keep the subby for a full shift, so the end of the day is usually the earliest they can bin you. You will be lucky if you are given any feedback directly. If they give feedback to the agency, the agency won’t tell you but you won’t get any more work from them (blacklisting).

Shit managers & supervisors insult & get you doing demeaning tasks if they decide they don’t like you, hoping you walk & they won’t have to pay a full day (never walk!).

If they go thru a lot of agency workers, one of the subbies (with kids to feed) who works like he is on price (but for day rate to avoid the sack) will usually take you to one side & warn you early. If they’re wankers they won’t tell you until after.

If you’re working on a large job, lads will be sucking up, criticising, lying to the manager & bringing up their kids they don’t see within 30 minutes of starting. This is to milk the contract & so if labour has to be reduced, it will be you and not them. Be wary of anyone offering to share tools.

Pissed off, sacked agency workers sometimes discreetly damage work somebody else did in revenge, before they go
“Thanks for today, Mark.” *puts out hand for a handshake while staring through you* “do you have any feedback?” “No, great job!” “I was told this job was 6 months work?” “not by me!”

the second worst thing happening for you today 

this is the second worst thing happening for you today, I don't what is the first worst thing but I bet its bad.
So listen up boy, pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing happening for you today!
-Spy, TF2

what did you guys have for lunch today? 

something you say in a group chat to change the conversation topic when =

to avoid an unwanted topic
when no one cares about the previous topic
when someone says something that kills the prior conversation
to quickly move on from a topic where everyone's uncomfortable
user a = hey guys, today I found a penny on the ground! I'm the luckiest dude alive!

*whole group chat stays silent for a while*

user b = anyways, what did you guys have for lunch today?

what did you guys have for lunch today? 

something to say to divert a conversation in a group chat from a previous topic that =

no one cares about
people got uncomfortable with
one would use to avoid talking about
no one is interested in

usually, people say it like this =
"anyways, what did you guys have for lunch today?"
dude = "GUYS I FOUND A QUARTER ON THE GROUND JUST NOW. I'M RICH, BI8CH"

another dude = "anyways, what did you guys have for lunch today?"