Perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding game out there. Tons of Strategy, Strength and Speed all in one game. Not to be confused with Soccer (Where Upper Body Strength is not required) or Rugby (In which any dumbass can be succesfull)

Players in football are required to memorize 100s of different plays, formations, and rules. Players have been known to lift 400-600 pounds (Incase you don't know that is A LOT) and have been known to run a 4.13 in the 40 (Which is EXTREMELY Fast) with a vertical jump of "43 (Which is AMAZINGLY impressive)
A Day in the Life of a Football Player:

"You're an offensive lineman and it's late in the game.

You're mentally tired. Sweat, snot and spit drips off your face as you look down to see your hand still shaking from when you crushed it in the first quarter. There is probably some nerve damage. Your knees ache, your back hurts so bad it's hard to stand up straight. You wince and feel a burning sensation. Your vision is blurred due to a cut on your forehead from your last collision with some alcoholic 6'5" 320lb War-Daddy running a 4.8, benching 500, and cleaning 401 at 17% body fat who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, beats his girlfriend regularly and just insulted your mom with words you couldn't understand. His only instructions were to "Get to the ball, and be in a bad mood when you get there!!"

Now that just happened two plays ago and when you lined up for the next play you were still dizzy from what could probably be diagnosed as a minor concussion. But this is football and anything with "minor" attached to it just doesn't count. Now in the outside world you would probably miss a week of work and file some insurance claim, but here in your world you've got to suck it up for the next play. You're dizzy, can't get your balance, you barely hear the play, can't see, can't really hear the quarterback because of the 80,000 screaming fans, and then before you know it your man sacks the quarterback, takes off his helmet calls you a bitch while doing a dance.

Now the coach calls a timeout and you run over to the sidelines as your teammates yell "Come on! Get it together man!" The fans boo you relentlessly because they didn't drive 3hrs on a Saturday to see you blow the game because of a little headache. You barely make it over to the sideline because you're still dizzy and here comes your "motivational" speech from some wide-eyed 5'8" 280 lb redneck with a wad of chew in his mouth. "What in the heeelllll was that?! Get your ass down, your hands up and punch his @#$!. Didn't you hear the `River call?! They were in a 50 package with a weak side blitz. You know you've got to slide right you big dumb @#$!*! You made a commitment to this team!! Where is your pride son?!! People are counting on you! On YOU!! How can you call yourself an athlete and take that abuse in front of all these people and millions at home? God-bless son, what do your parents think? Get your head in the game!! If you don't want to play, hell, I got three freshman over there that will play for your fat ass!! I'll suit up someone from the stands before I watch you do that crap again!! I'd rather have my little sister out there giving 100% than watch you half-ass it out there because you're tired and you don't want to give the effort. Now get out there and do your job boy!"

So now you get in the huddle and here comes the quarterback with the call: "Larry Left, 90 XY out on Two, on Two. Ready ....BREAK!!

So here's what goes through your head: "90...90....What is 90? That's a 7 step drop. He needs lots of time. Damn my hand hurts! Larry Left. OK, I've got the tight-end on my side so the 7 technique will be wide. The Mike is right and I'm uncovered, so I've got the Sam to the end to the Corner. Easy. Oh crap, they eagled down and War-Daddy is lined up with me, and I don't have help because the other guard has a two technique and the center is uncovered and he has to slide. Better go from a two point stance, this guy is quick."

"Ready set, Black 280.....Black 280....Hut!! Hut!!.

He engages. You get a good punch. He counters with an inside rip. You open your hip, lock out your right hand and smash his @#$!* into the ground and kick him for emphasis. You look up and the Mike came on a delayed blitz and the center got tangled up with the two technique so it's between you and the Mike, between you and the quarterback getting the ball to the open receiver, between you and victory. You lunge, get a piece of his knee with your already smashed hand. You probably just broke it. It's not pretty, but you get enough of him. The ball is released and . . . Touchdown!!

After the win you sit in a pool of blood, dirt, sweat, snot, and someone else's blood. You smell like you slept in a garbage can. You sit there with 2 ice packs on each shoulder and an ice pack on your neck and one on your hand which is still throbbing. You have to get a trainer to cut the inches of tape and equipment and special padding you use to get your body ready for the game because you are simply too tired to move. As he works the tape off you vaguely hear him talking about how great the game was and how you're the man. He asks what you're doing after the game. You mumble, "I'm not sure, thanks man", and hobble off the table. The shower feels good but it stings like hell because of all the open cuts. You use shampoo instead of soap because it's easier to lather up. After a game it is so hard to do even the most minute things. You've just given 100%. People usually never push their body that far."
by CAperas September 10, 2006
pronunciation: uuuhhhh...fooobawl...*grunt*

Definition 1:
An american sport that focuses on winning and nothing more. Played with an oblong shaped object made of leather or synthetic material which is pointed on both ends and filled with air. Players of the sport wear extensive systems of body armor to protect them from injury during the course of the game, which involves running around on a 100-yard long field for the sole purpose of tackling and getting the ball to the end zone to score points. The most important piece of equipment is the helmet, which is used to protect their brain (small as it is) from injury.

Football players tend to be egotistic, and often belligerent, assholes due to the sick obsession that schools and the media have with sports and sports stars, which inflates their egos and affords them special treatment wherever they go.

The coaches of these teams are oftentimes worse than the players due to an insatiable drive to WIN! WIN! WIN! People are often belittled by these cretins for lack of interest in sports. Players are beat into submission for losing a game (sounds like macho marine corps type bullshit to me).

Definition 2:
A form of male homoerotic behavior used to compensate for inferior penis size and lack of anger management skills. Also feeds their repressed drive to make sweet love to other men from behind (hut hut hike...ohhhh).
Football is stupid...
by rockhead72 October 03, 2007
1. In America: An amazing and brutal game in which two teams attempt to score touchdowns. There are a lot of rules, but its basically slamming someone into the ground. America's new pastime.
2. Everywhere else: A game with a soccer ball in which two teams try to score a goal, no using your hands. Known as soccer. The world's pastime.
1. Baseball is boring and gay, that is why i, like 99% of americans, would rather watch football.
2. In europe they play football with their feet.
by dimelis_16 May 09, 2007
In an act that most English speaking countries find bemusing, Soccer (Association Rules) is seeking to be referred to as "Football." Although many countries in Europe do indeed refer to Soccer as Futbal, Fussball, or something similar, almost all English speaking countries refer to it as Soccer. Therefore, if non-English speakers want to communicate in the international language, they too must refer to Soccer with its internationally accepted English title.

Fortunately, American, Australian, Canadian, South African, Irish and New Zealand English teachers are doing a good job in Asia by ensuring that Asians refer to Soccer by its correct title. Sadly, European trade barriers are resulting in teachers from Britain dominating in Europe and poor vocab is being taught as a result. Most Europeans now misunderstand one of the most important words in the English language.

Perhaps Australian Soccer's desire to change its name is an acknowledgement of deficiency of its image, and the desire to steal an image more dear to an Australian's heart. The word football carries an image of gladiatorial combat. It is an image that has been built on the back of courage displayed in Aussie Rules (aka the beautiful game), Rugby League , Rugby Union and Gridiron. On the other hand, Soccer is a game whose players role around in agony if a fly touches their knee. Soccer does not belong in the same gladiatorial sentence with the football codes. It belongs in the same sentence as badminton, bowls and ping pong.

Soccer fans argue that codes such as Gridiron, Rugby Union and Rugby League should not be called football because the ball is handled more than it is kicked. Such an argument, however, shows a complete lack of understanding for the historical origins of the word 'football.' The name 'football', was originally coined in reference to games played on foot. In medieval England, the aristocrats played games on horses, while the poor peasants ran, hence the peasants played ball on foot, or football. (*If the name had been created to provide an accurate description of Soccer, it would have been called feetball, kickball, dribble ball, grassball, or kickalongthegroundball.)

There are some Soccer fans who whinge that it is absurd that the on foot label was only applied to Rugby, Cricket, Soccer and Football, but not to sports like Cricket, or Hockey that were also played on foot. While it may be absurd, getting angry about it is as futile as getting angry about other peculiarities of the English language such as: driving on parkways, and parking on driveways, a house burning up as it burns down, it being hot as hell one day, and cold as hell the other, the teacher that taught, but the preacher that didn't praught. It is pointless. The English language is full of words that seem absurd once that they have been removed from the time and place that created them, yet the words are still used. If Soccer fans truly feel more accurate label is now needed, then they could call their sport Feetball. Technically speaking, Football could only be an accurate description for Soccer when its played by amputees living near African minefields.

Back to the illiterate peasants. Because they never wrote any rules for their games, it is difficult to know what level of handling prevailed in them. There is, however, circumstantial evidence that their focus was towards handling. As balls of the era were made from animal bladders, they were usually egg or banana shaped. Soccer style dribbling would have been difficult. In 1841, an Aboriginal protector actually used the level of handling as the chief difference between English Football, and the Aboriginal game of Marngrook:

"The players of this game do not throw the ball as a white man might do, but drop it and at the same time kicks it with his foot. "

There are many who believe that Marngrook evolved into Australian Rules Football(aka the beautiful game). In which case, Australian Rules has the longest continuity of being a kicking-focussed game. If Australian Rules is indeed an evolution of Marngrook, then the beautiful game has a cultural legacy of being a kicking game dating back up 50,000 years.

In 1858, Australian Rules became the world's first officially codified game of football when 10 rules were formerly written down. At this time, there was no written rules for any code in England.

In 1862, Rugby was the first English football code codified, and naturally, it continued to be referred to as Football. Soccer came into existence in 1863 when the Football Association was founded in London with the intention of creating a unified set of rules. Supporters of the Rugby style of play left the meeting and continued playing their rules. The Association then coined the word "Soccer" as an abbreviation for association rules. The new name helped distinguish the new code from Football (Rugby).

Rugby was taken to America, where it evolved into Gridiron. As Rugby was typically referred to as Football, Gridiron likewise became known as Football. Rugby League broke away from Rugby Union in 1895, and like Gridiron, also became known as a code of Football.

Morally, Soccer's move come as little surprise. Soccer is a sport that breeds people of dubious integrity - phoneys who want rewards to come through referee intervention rather than hard work. Phoneys who pretend to be felled to get a free shot on goal. And now phoneys who want to pretend their sport is worthy of the title of football.

The best evidence of the superior valour of football fans is their open-mindedness. They don't seek a monopoly on the title of football, and are prepared to share it with other codes. They see the argument a bit like pork, beef, lamb, chicken or fish lovers fighting over the word "meat". Soccer fans making a scene about a name only stands to make their code look ridiculous.
Football (as in Aussie Rules, Gridiron, and Rugby) contains much more strategy, athletisism, and skill than Football (as in soccer)
by Zongafff October 06, 2006
As most people are aware of the sport football, there is also a pot smoking game referred to as "football" in which a joint is passed in a rotation of people, and when each person takes a hit, they hold it in their lungs until the joint comes around to them again. Recommended for relatively small rotations.
by rabidsheep420 September 09, 2003
1. A Sport that is very popular in America.

2. A Sport that is very popular in England.

3. A word that often causes foolish arguments between fans of American football, and soccer fans.

4. The gayest sport there is.
1. Almost everyone in the US watches the NFL, even though the game is played at its finest in college.

2. Football is the name for "soccer" in england. I believe the English call American Football Gridiron. And in the other large English speaking nations, Canada and Australia, Football is an entirely different sport.

3. Any soccer fan will be quick to point out that the "rest of the world" calls their sport football. However this is not true as the "rest of the world" does not speak English,In Spanish speaking countries it is "Futbol" and I have I am pretty sure the Chinese word for it doesn't resemble "football." Even in Canada and Australia it means something different.

4. I mean honestly, if you played football you'll remember, football is nothing but a bunch of sweaty guys, rubbing up against each other, showering together, slapping each others asses, and wearing really tight pants.

by Dr.Psuedoscience May 30, 2007
the best damn sport in the WORLD if it is played the american way, the english way is very girly as you can not do anything and try to fake your way through the whole 90 minutes, and THE Ohio State Buckeyes are the best damn team in the land
Man did you see them buckeyes play football!
by James the football player July 21, 2008

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×