ESPN Stat 

A statistic so specific or fitting that it allows mediocre players to be compared to all-time greats. This kind of stat is generally used by ESPN to push a narrative

ESPN: Michael Jordan and Ben Dover are the only players in NBA history to score 27+ points, 12.45+ assists, and exactly 69 rebounds in the month of January when it’s snowing outside.

You: What a bullshit ESPN Stat

ESPN Stat by Rbern18 January 25, 2022

ESPN Troglodyte 

A person, typically male and characterized by a low IQ, obsession with sports and a macho or jockish demeanor. The typical ESPN Troglodyte feels an almost primal need to watch hopelessly repetitive ESPN offerings such as Sportscenter. These people subscribe to the ESPN orthodoxy that any and all material displayed on ESPN with the exception of watching an actual game in progress is supremely relevant. These people tend not to understand that most of this material is in effect filler used to fill the void between tidbits of potentially interesting professional sport related news. Any unexpected break in viewing (for instance, changing the channel or momentarily blocking the screen by walking between it and the viewer) will cause the ESPN Troglodyte great discomfort and on occasion will cause the ESPN Troglodyte to lash out verbally or physically.

I went to the gym today, All three TVs were showing Sportscenter. I decided to protect my mind from being turned to mush by changing one to the Science Channel. As soon as I did an ESPN Troglodyte began heaping his abuse on me demanding that I change it back. WTF?

ESPN Troglodyte by uuth October 22, 2010

ESPN 8 "the Ocho" 

Bringing you the finest from seldom seen sports from around the world since 1999.

Did you watch the Amateur, Division 1 Curling district champions last night? It was on ESPN 8 "the Ocho"!

ESPN 8 "the Ocho" by Clavefor January 11, 2015

ESPN kid 

One of those sport kids from your high school who wears sweat pants every day. An espn kid leaves his TV on ESPN all day even though its boring and repeats the same shit every ten mins.

"Why does that fucker cool guy everyone and get laid even though he is boring, not funny, and wears nike sweat pants everyday (and/or basketball shorts with tall nike socks and sandals)"?

"Well it's because he's a goddamn blockhead ESPN kid".

ESPN kid by dungeonhustler October 12, 2014

ESPN the ocho

its espn but better. its the ocho!

extreme dodgeball is shown on ESPN the ocho!

ESPN the ocho by Alex Liebson April 10, 2005

ESPNRILF

ESPN Reporter I'd Like to Fuck, includes the ranks of Erin Andrews, Molly Qerim, Rachel Nichols, Michelle Beadle, Michele Tafoya etc. These women typically roam the sidelines at various collegiate and professional sporting events, serving as a sideline reporter during the ESPN television broadcast. Other duties may include covering field reports for daily SportsCenter broadcasts or hosting various in studio shows on the ESPN family of networks.

"Dude I was watching the game last night on ESPN and Erin Andrews was interviewing some lucky asshole player who was totally checking out her rack. I really can't blame him though, she is such a fucking ESPNRILF!!!"

ESPNRILF by Mock Diesel October 20, 2009

ESPN 

Adj. Something which is incredibly overplayed and overdramatized.

Up next on ESPN, completely unfounded speculation regarding the motives of Brett Favre returning to the NFL, followed by a six hour discussion comparing Favre with current Packers QB Aaron Rodgers. Then we'll take you live to Brett Favre's home where we will watch him eat cheetos while watching television.

ESPN by vigilantmongoose December 13, 2009