(person) Someone who stares at their smart-phone or monitor and LOLs, or literally ROTFL. Normally, their phone is an extension of their arm. They suffer neckpain and sore thumbs. Typonese and lack of proper grammar is also associated with e-TARDS . Walking also becomes an issue for e-tards, and objects or people get in their way. An e-Tard helmet may be necessary to protect the cranium of those who suffer from e-Tard fits. are great multi-taskers. They are able to google+ and/or text, while driving/eating/working.
The majority of Google+ users are e-TARDS.
by Googly Person September 13, 2011
London based football team who have unbelievable tekkers. A team comparable to E'tards will have a large squad and the manager will rotate the team around a core group of players. An E'tarded football team will also call upon reserve players more accustomed to other sports e.g. rugby. It has been reported that the current squad (2010/2011 season) have a combined value of approximately £100. Often play in a 4-4-2 diamond formation. The team have a large fan base who follow the team religiously whether at home or on the road and turnout to see derby games has often led to pitch invasions and fans even getting down onto the touch line to catch mere glimpses of the skill the players possess. Commonly known as the Tards.
Football player 1 "We are playing the E'tards this week."

Football player 2 "Well then, I'm not turning up, that game is as good as lost."

Football manager of a team that has E'tarded traits "Right we are missing some players this week, we'll have to draft in some player from the local rugby club"

Football supporter (While at an E'tard game) "Wow see those tekkers"
E'tard supporter "Yeh, they are quite good. They have scored with chips from the D, backheels and even from the halfway line. They even volleyed it into their own net once just for fun. Big up the Tards"
Football supporter "Wow, they sound good, wouldn't want to play the."
by Footy fan 5201184 March 06, 2011
Someone that has done way to many drugs (specifically Ecstasy) and is sketched out and weird. Probably normal, social drug user before they started doing X every weekend until they needed 4 pills to roll and their minds turned to mush.

Usually former drug dealers, or current ones, they continue to do hardcore drugs because of how desensitized they have become to all kinds of drugs. Always buying drugs, they have no money to do anything but sit around like a zombie.

Usually aren't active at all. Never go outside and do fun stuff but just sit in their basements strung out on drugs. Feel bad for the E-tard because their life is a downward spiral.
Yeah Kenny was pretty cool until he started doing mad drugs. Poor fool is so e-tarded he can barely interact with people socially.
by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson July 16, 2010
Someone that is electronically challenged; one who doesn't do well with computers, phones, or anything else electronic.
Jaime: "Can you help me set up my voicemail on my phone?"
Justin: "You're such an e-tard!"
by OBrex05 August 30, 2009
Someone who is burnt out or displays severe cognitive deficits due to overuse of the club drub MDMA aka ecstasy.
Jim used to be a cool guy on a path to success but now he is just an e-tard.
by skarz January 10, 2010
One who is not yet schooled in the ways of electronic mail, or e-mail as some say. Said individual may not know how to forward an e-mail, attach a file to an e-mail, or add recipients to an e-mail. In extreme cases, the e-tard may not even have an e-mail account.
-Should i forward this link to Will?
-Don't bother, he's a total e-tard. He probably won't even be able to open it.
by Bum Stiggity Bum February 17, 2011
Some who has done too much ecstasy and goes to parties always on MDMA. Usually fascinated with bright colors.
That one kid with the bright plaid colored hat on over there. He talks way to slow he must be and E-Tard. Sheesh.
by next15onecominGUCCI August 10, 2009

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