Douchician 

\doosh-ish-en\ n.

An adolescent male douchebag, who poorly performs douchey songs in an attempt to impress girls and/or douche whores; despite not having any real musical talent.

Common Characteristics of Douchicians:

- the guitar is the instrument of choice for most douchicians
- douchicians will bring a guitar even if it is not appropriate
- most douchicians have shaggy hair
- douchicians rarely wear shoes when performing outdoors
- douchicians will seize all opportunites to go shirtless

Top 5 Songs Frequently Played by Douchicians:

1. "Original" songs, with a "borrowed" melody, about an ex
2. Wonderwall - Oasis
3. Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's
4. The intro to Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
5. Time of Your Life - Green Day

Person 1: Why does that guy always bring his guitar and sing "Hey there Delilah" by Plain White T's?

Person 2: He's a douchician, and that's just what douchicians do.

Person 1: Well, he could at least put his shirt back on. I can't believe some of those girls are actually impressed.

Person 2: Those are just stupid douche whores, and douche whores go crazy over douchicians.

Perfect Example of a Douchician:

Family Guy, "Stewie Kills Louis". Season: 6 Episode: 4 of the animated sitcom, shows a short clip of a "douche bag" playing a guitar. The clip comes just after Stewie realizes that he never follows through with any of his plans to kill Louis. The animated clip can be found online at popular video sharing sites.

Douchician by TitsMagee10249 November 22, 2010

Douchiano 

a boss who thinks he's pretty legit, but really isn't.

new co-worker: Man, that guy seems great to work for the way he looks like Johnny Depp and wears sleeveless t-shirts.
worker: No way. He yells a lot and makes us cry.

new co-worker: Thanks for the heads up. What a Douchiano.

Douchiano by KSTA August 24, 2018

Douchehand 

That feeling you get when you unknowingly shake hands with a total douchebag.

After being introduced to Chad and shaking his hand I realized that he was a total douchebag and immediately felt a sense of douchehand.

Douchehand by Atlas Rising April 3, 2021

Douchicane 

An individual who is a douchebag far beyond the conventional meaning. To the extent that his/her. personality resembles a swirling vortex of douche. Often arrogant and/or oblivious their effect on others, douchicanes often launch into self-righteous tirades that can be classified by "Category" much like a hurricane. Douchicanes are often despised individuals who cause trouble and never take blame for it. They also delight in finding fault in others. Any given social group can only take one douchicane at a time without imploding on itself. Like a hurricane, precautions include rapid evacuation from the area and the creative use of hammer, nails, and plywood.

1. Wow, that Park Ranger is really being a douchicane!

2. Oh Lord, the douchicane is drunk, looks like he's going to go CAT 4.

3. I can't believe that guy let his dog puke on my rug; what a douchicane.

Douchicane by ColoradoCrotalus January 18, 2010

Car-douchian 

Someone who talks incessantly about their "awesome" car or dream car

What do you think of Alan?
Have you heard him talk? He's such a car-douchian.

Car-douchian by Sizzomer Whizzite August 28, 2009

douchiecanoe 

a person who has surpassed the douche standard by a huge amount. they have went so far that you have to get in a canoe and paddle many miles to the place that they have gone.

this level of douchieness has gone farther than any amount of money that you can put in the douche jar.

oh my gosh Jackson is SUCH a douchiecanoe, he stole my girlfriend and slept with my mom in the SAME day.

douchiecanoe by douchiecanoe August 16, 2016

Call of Douchian 

(noun) a person that uses either an m16, a n00b tube, or both in either call of duty 4, or call of duty: modern warfare 2. They often think that they are great at the game, however the only way they can manage to get any kills is by camping in a corner like a bitch.

The k/d ratio of a call of douchian will always be higher than yours, but you can take solace in the fact that they are all soul-less cunts.

Seriously, he's camping with an m16? What a call of douchian!

Call of Douchian by legit_k/d January 27, 2010