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doucheish 

to be douche like, gay, no fun, conceided and a jerk off
Johnny is so doucheish for thinking he is better than eveeryone.

Douchenheimer 

Only used for those who have transcended from mere douche, to a higher level of douchebaggery. Describes a person who doesn't just act like a douche, they live like it. Most can only obtain this infamous title after training for the better part of their lives in the ancient arts of Taekwondouche, passed down by the elder D-bag monks of the Appalachian Mountains. A Douchenheimer will most likely be offended if you refer to them as lowly douche, and correct you in the douchiest way possible, as to show off their talents. Once one reaches the rank of Douchenheimer he is gifted with a special collared shirt, reinforced with steel so there's no possible way for it to not be popped. The Douchenheimer is revered by douches, hated all.
Guy 1: Whoa...

Guy 2: What's wrong?

Guy 1: That... thing over there, what is it? I wanna call it a douche but...

Guy 2: I'm afraid that's no mere douche. It's... a Douchenheimer!

Douchenhaven 

An insult that combines the pejorative term 'douche' - an obnoxious or egotistical person - and the general term 'haven' - a sanctuary or place of rest, with the result being a fairly poor insult that makes very little sense. This saying is generally used by fat kids, who will usually go on to use other words such as 'homeslice' and 'bro-sack'.
Person 1: "Man, that guy's such a douchenhaven."

Person 2: "..."
Douchenhaven by Olliebrownnnn November 19, 2011

doucheassery

an act or acts of jackassery committed by completely douchey people
Tom is up to his usual doucheassery by wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt and claiming to be a UFC fan
doucheassery by pendergastastic September 6, 2010

Douchenheimer 

Conceited, dickish pervert with a penis that measures just .5 cm. Also defined as: Cocky trumpet player that masturbates daily, and enjoys public hand jobs.
My God, he is such a Douchenheimer (Sam). He made his girlfriend get him off in the back of the movie theater.
Douchenheimer by -->flounder<-- February 27, 2011

Douchenstein 

A unit of measurement for use with a douchometer in calculating the precise level of douchism a particular object or potentially douchebaggish person may exhibit. Part of the standard metric system, especially when used in places that use the metric system.
I can see you clearly through my douchometer, and you're registering at least 6500 Douchensteins.
Douchenstein by codyandgarrett October 20, 2009