Disasturbate 

When your life is so shitty, all you can do is masturbate in sorrow and self-pity.

"What happened to Luke the other day?"

"I don't know man, but it must be pretty horrible - he just went to the other room to disasturbate."

Disasturbate by kOrEAn Bbq May 9, 2013

Disasturbate 

Masturbating during a natural or otherwise any disaster.

The tornado is coming, I better disasturbate so I can too.

Disasturbate by Jawsh00 July 3, 2015

Disasterbate 

v. The act of maserbating and someone interrupts the act, just at the point of climax but before the actual ejaculation, so you have no option but to just put your junk back in you pants and cum all over the the inside of your shorts.

Me: My mom walked in just as I was ejaculating. I had NO time to cum on anything so I just shoved everything back in my pants and came all over myself. what a disaster.

Friend: Dude, you disasterbated!! Hilarious!

Disasterbate by Dr. K. Moon November 19, 2010

disasturbation 

(n) term used to describe when pleasuring oneself ends tragically with an unfortunately timed interruption

"I was jacking off and my cat jumped on my lap right before i came. It was a terrible disasturbation session."
"Then a couple days later, my mom decided to barge into my room to wake me up as i was cranking it under my sheets. I disasturbated twice this week."

disasturbation by systemofanup June 21, 2010

disasturbation 

Masturbation...with disastrous results.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

disasturbation by cakeofages October 18, 2008

disasturbation 

To masturbate during a disaster, or when normal masturbation turns disastrous.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

disasturbation by eosbnnaarsh November 8, 2011

Disasterbate 

In the face of pending doom, man shuns only the quickest and most rewarding of activities. Disasterbation describes the carnal quest for the much-coveted preapocalyptic climax.

The second most satisfying of self-pleasuring activities, Disasterbation bows only to Faux Invigordisastpublation--publicly masturbating, with vigor, in anticipation of a miscalculated armageddon.

(see also: Dicksimation, Blastpocalypse, Cum Bucket List, Anal-Eye-alation, Catajysm, Catastrofeces, and Holocaustitution)

INTELLECTUAL 1: "My goodness, Intellectual 2, I dare say that, despite having immaculately worded definitions, the examples UrbanDictionary endorses often seem contrived in nature, unnecessarily abrupt, and leave one with a dearth of expounding information via general scenario, anecdote, or lexicon."

INTELLECTUAL 2: "Hear Hear, Intellectual 1! I ... OH! Gracious, is that an earthquake!?!? ... DISASTERBATE!"

Disasterbate by barfcake November 15, 2011