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3 definitions by barfcake

 
1.
In the face of pending doom, man shuns only the quickest and most rewarding of activities. Disasterbation describes the carnal quest for the much-coveted preapocalyptic climax.

The second most satisfying of self-pleasuring activities, Disasterbation bows only to Faux Invigordisastpublation--publicly masturbating, with vigor, in anticipation of a miscalculated armageddon.

(see also: Dicksimation, Blastpocalypse, Cum Bucket List, Anal-Eye-alation, Catajysm, Catastrofeces, and Holocaustitution)
INTELLECTUAL 1: "My goodness, Intellectual 2, I dare say that, despite having immaculately worded definitions, the examples UrbanDictionary endorses often seem contrived in nature, unnecessarily abrupt, and leave one with a dearth of expounding information via general scenario, anecdote, or lexicon."

INTELLECTUAL 2: "Hear Hear, Intellectual 1! I ... OH! Gracious, is that an earthquake!?!? ... DISASTERBATE!"
by barfcake November 15, 2011
 
2.
A conversion van with the following exhaustive criteria:

windowage = low

sodomic intent = high

These outcasts among internal combustion conveyances share similar traits including an affinity for playground parking lots, Penn State campuses, and republican conventions.

(see also: Saabdusky, Sandatsun, GMC Savanal, Pedofiat, Pederaston Martin, Peewee Hervan, Mini Coopervert, Dodge Durangoatsee, GMC Tysonoma, Ford AerostaR Kelly, Rape Rover, and Neverland Ranchero)
(NOTE: the identity of the conversees below will be protected by the pseudonyms B. Costas, and J. Sandusky. ... Naw, that's too obvious... Bob and Jerry.)

Bob: "Jerry, are you sexually attracted to young boys?"
<long pause>

<more long pausing>

Jerry: "Am I sexually attracted to underage boys? Sexually attracted? You know, I enjoy young people. I, I love to be around them. I, I... But no, I'm not sexually attracted to young boys. I do, however, stockpile them in the vandusky for rousing weekend roadtrips to vacant parking lots and hidden overpasses. You know, at their, um, request."
by barfcake January 12, 2012
 
3.
A conversion van with the following exhaustive criteria:

windowage = low

sodomic intent = high

These outcasts among internal combustion conveyances share similar traits including an affinity for playground parking lots, Penn State campuses, and republican conventions.

(see also: Saabdusky, Sandatsun, Paterno Motors, Penntiac, Pedofiero, and Pederaston Martin)
(NOTE: the identity of the conversees below will be protected by the pseudonyms B. Costas, and J. Sandusky. ... Naw, that's too obvious... Bob and Jerry.)

Bob: "Jerry, are you sexually attracted to young boys?
<long pause>
<more long pausing>
Jerry: Am I sexually attracted to underage boys? Sexually attracted? You know, I enjoy young people. I, I love to be around them. I, I... But no, I'm not sexually attracted to young boys. I do, however, stockpile them in the vandusky for rousing weekend roadtrips to vacant parking lots and hidden overpasses. You know, at their, um, request."
by barfcake January 12, 2012