A condition where a person looks at digital shit coins all day, all night and rarely sleeps. They try and "daytrade" only to feed the meme coin whales their liquidity. This ends up worsening the condition to where to person eyes turn blood shot red, they do not care to get laid anymore, and they also use a drug called Hopeium which only worsens the condition of looking at charts all day and trading them... Severe Cryptitis symptoms include but not limited: blood shot eyes, the continuing of emptying one's wallet, suicide, heavy crying, feelings of ones asshole hurt, an irrational fear of walking carpets ("rugs") and a severe addiction to hopeium. There is no known cure for this condition, and it is rapidly spreading with one rug pull after another.
Vaginal infection caused by not changing your soiledunderwear quick enough after a severe dose of Slurryitus. Female only disease, (and possibly post op Transexuals).
Susan, (whilst in the toilet cubicle): " AAAAAAARGH!!! Fuck it stings when I piss and my flaps stink of shit!!".
Judith, (from the next door cubicle): " You should have changed your panties when you shat yourself in the paste room yesterday. I warned you about Slurryitus Cystitis. I am a first aider you know.
Speaking to someone in a cryptic manner causing them to become confused and as a consequence they then unveil their ultimate weakness. This word originates from the word kryptonite which is superman’s ultimate weakness - obvs.
Alphy always tries to cryptonise me so that he can find out my ultimate weakness. It doesn’t work, as I invented the word!!