Carpet python 

The dick of a couch.

Look, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum here if you’re all wild about carpet pythons, I just wanna sit.

Carpet python by Skyfire1228 June 16, 2018

Carpe Cannabis 

To sieze, pluck, enjoy or make use of the Cannabis. 🔥💨

🔥 If you love CANNABIS think CARPE CANNABIS.

🔥 When you get that DANK scream out CARPE CANNABIS and enjoy the high with no worries.

🔥When your enjoying your HIGH think CARPE CANNABIS

Carpe Cannabis by ClassicRonnie June 12, 2019

Carpe Diem Cras 

meaning Seize The Day Tomorrow,
This word is in Latin (The Dead Language) and is associated with Carpe Diem meaning Seize The Day....but Carpe Diem Cras is the exact opposite, sometimes used by procrastinators.

Carpe Diem Cras

Carpe Diem Cras by Double Soul April 1, 2009

Don Carpenter 

is the infamous god who distributed justice throughout Dale County High School. When he raised his five fingers most listened, but when you didn't know how to count or tuck in your shirt, you were doomed to the Gates of Hell.

*Don Carpenter eats microphone* "Mrs. Deaton's Class line up please!"

Don Carpenter by InsideJokesOnly December 21, 2018

holy carp 

Someone goes to type "holy crap" but ends up typing "holy carp" instead, resulting in mental images of a carp who has been blessed by the Lord Almighty.

"My test results came back positive"

"HOLY CARP!"

holy carp by ChubbyD February 15, 2010

carpin' all them diems 

The CHAD version of Carpe diem (seize the day).

Like YOLO, carpin' all those diems underscores the finite nature of life, the importance of taking risks and not placing unnecessary strain on your tiny brain.

In short: Don't think about it

"That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems." - Summer - Rick and Morty (2013) Season 3 episode 2 "Rickmancing the Stone"

carpin' all them diems by That one dude..!@gh December 3, 2017

carpet munchies 

A heightened desire to perform cunnilingus following inhalation or ingestion of delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, the psychoactive compound in cannabis sativa.

Colloquially: really wanting to "eat pussy" after smoking marijuana.

Man, I was watching a movie with my girl the other night and after my second or third bong rip I really got the carpet munchies... dog I went down on her for like an hour!

carpet munchies by DJ Silky Nick November 2, 2011