1. Someone who jackhammers their fanatical religious beliefs down other people's throats, and if you don't like it, move to Canada.

2. Someone who fabricates a reason to invade a country (Iraq) that never attacked the United States, and if you don't like it, move to Canada.

3. Someone who runs political campaigns full of lies and dirty tricks, and if you don't like it, move to Canada.

4. Someone who cuts taxes to make the super rich even richer while increasing spending and putting the country deep in debt, and if you don't like it, move to Canada.
I am a conservative asshole with narrow minded, bigoted, fascist beliefs, and if you don't like it, move to Canada.
by Republicanazi April 19, 2005
People who tend to have black and white opinions on nearly every issue in the universe. Don't realize the importance of situational ethics. This is most likely the result of a fundamentalist religious upbringing.
A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderate: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.
Liberal: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).
Conservative: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)
by Submitter of Words June 13, 2011
A Political phrase that has been thrown around so much that it has lost its meaning and has many people who pretend to be it(Just as with the word Liberal).

Conservatives generally believe in less government and a government that only steps in when necessary.

On Economic Issues, Conservatives generally believe in low taxes, a flat income tax(seeing that it is the only equal and constitutional way to conduct a tax) and financial independence. They believe that a person's money belongs to the person, not the government. They believe in less government spending and fewer government programs. They are against welfare(both Corporate and Private) and intervention in the economy. These beliefs are generally known as "Fiscal Conservatism".

On Social Issues, Conservatives believe in interfering only when someone's constitutional rights are at risk. This is why many Conservatives are Pro-Life(they see abortion as an attack on a human being's constitutional right to live). Conservatives are against "Big Brother" telling you how to live your life.

Many Conservatives believe in an idea known as "Peace Through Strength." An idea that revolves around military strength and the power of intimidation to avoid war.

Conservatives are usually identified with the Republican Party, although in recent years, the Party has broken into a civil war between Conservatives and Neo-Conservatives(Not to be confused with Conservatives). And, recently, Neo-Conservatives have began to use the term "conservative" to refer to their own beliefs. However, some prominent Conservatives, such as John McCain, Ron Paul, and Fred Thompson, have risen and popularity as well as the ideas behind True Conservatism.
John McCain and Ron Paul are Conservatives, Rush Limbaugh is not.
by David N. Dunnsworth September 19, 2008
A conservative is someone who thinks resources like land, water, timber and oil are owed to Man in infinite abundance by an invisible deity until Jesus returns, at which point the Earth and all its raw materials will be purged. The Bible gives the exact date of this liberating event.

Thus, conservation, environmental regulations and other forms of greed-control are socialist plots against patriots who are merely pillaging resources per God's Plan. Never mind that the world is getting increasingly overpopulated and rife with scarcity. The Chosen Ones are above the laws of nature.
Being a good conservative, he mocked the recycling program as not cost-effective, threw his aluminum can in the trash, and sped away in his Yukon Denial with Limbaugh bleating about the "global warming hoax."
by Enough Already May 09, 2010
Generally self righteous people, largely hypocritical and racist's that drive Volvo's that worship market forces like it is a pagan deity at Bohemia grove.

Many belong to secret societies such as the Freemasons.

Also known to sit on the P&C committees of local schools to further their political careers.
Did you see that cock-eyed geriatric in the Volvo, I bet he is heading to the lodge for a conservative fund raising gala!
by Sean Ambrose January 29, 2008
Usually a person who believes more in their own self interests (i.e. price of their gas) then the welfare of others or the environment.
'09 conservative: Offshore drilling is a great idea!
'09 liberal: But what if there's a oil spill?
'09 conservative: Like that's ever gonna happen
by carebear89 June 15, 2010
A political party in the UK sworn to the rise of the upper and middle classes at the expense of the poorest in society.

A bunch of reactionary, racist, land owning bigots who take hypocrasy, corruption and outdated monetrist dogma to a new high.
by black flag June 27, 2004
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