Qualities of a conservative:

Watches Fox News religiously
Listens to talk radio
Watches football
Owns a gun - I mean a whole bunch of them
Loves professional wrestling
Loves dynamite
Loves teen idols
Thinks everyone needs a boot up their ass
Goes to church
Generally a very nice guy/gals
Compassionate
Hard working
Disciplined
Determined
Mature
Treats people with respect
Loves America

Qualities of a liberal:

Dumb
pot smoking
immature - acts like they are in middle school still
Bitches a lot
Afraid of everything
Friends with animals
Afraid of the noise of a shutgun
Hates computers unless it is a Mac
Plays guitar
Hypochondriac
Needs a psychologist
Conservatives ftw
by kyster23 April 25, 2011

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A person who espouses the idea of "less government". However, they tend to espouse the idea of "less government" more when it comes to spending money for social programs. They have no qualms about looking over people's shoulders, spying on or jailing people for suspected "un-American activities" at a base that is not even on American soil. Among their interference in our lives: spying on cell phone calls without permission of Congress, saying, "I'm the president. Why do I need anyone's permission?", or using brute military force to enforce their vision of that things should be like on the outside world. They believe in torture in the name of national security. As far as financial responsibility, they believe in shrinking down every part of the government but giving the Department of Defense what is essentially a blank check, and run up horrific deficits fighting senseless, endless wars. Strength is good, but waste is not. They are often religious, but they seem to have Jesus Christ confused with Ronald Reagan. Their philosophies are often subtly or blatantly racist and xenophobic, and they have been known to advocate disenfranchisement of women and minorities (see: ann coulter because these groups overwhelmingly vote liberal and are growing much faster than the aging white male voter base they rely on. Their failed policies were rejected in the 2008 election, by the "true" patriots of our great country.
Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are examples of the consummate conservative gone mad: God, church, family, country, torture, domestic spying, and killing the ragheads.
by Head of the Maids' Union February 15, 2009

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A production of America's traditions and a lot failures. Conservatives are for the country but often not what's best. It's a selfish bid, 'an every man for themselves,' way of thinking. Conservatives seem to forget without the working class, there is no economy. They waste time basing liberals, most not knowing the meaning of the word.

The bill of rights is a product of liberalism. Are you going to bash that?
Look, a conservative! A Faggot! Burn him! Burn her! Libtards will diiieeee! Cause 'Murica. Dip snuff, get disgustingly fat, and rub my ass over the world.
by Fair Scholar 6969 August 09, 2017

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A racist, homophobic, patriotic dick-head.
conservative " I'm a conservative, I hate politically correct folks." normal person: " You do know that the word "conservative" is a politically correct word, right?" (The conservative then proceeds to shoot the person and claim that he was communist trying to take away the conservative's second amendment rights)
by Applegate900899 August 08, 2017

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Someone who didn't read the constitution

Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,- conservatives beleive that Religion, specifically christianity should be the guiding hand of government.

or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble- Connservatives are pro-police violence against protesters and often had liberal journalists killed during Vietnam, also they complain about the "Liberal Media" despicte watching nothing but the idiotic bile that oozes out of Rush Limbaugh's and Sean Hannidy's mouthes.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. -during both the Cold War and the Bush administration phones were tapped and personal records were seized warrantlessly by Conservative governments.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state- not only were gitmo inmates denied a speedy and public trial they were denied an trial by the Bush administration.
A conservative is someone who will look at this definition and mumbble " pot-smokin, flag burnin, baby eatin, Nigger lovin, america haters an then vote it down with his eleventh finger.
by Damn Straight Clint July 27, 2009

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Someone who falls on the "right" end of the political spectrum.

In the United States in particular, a person who cherishes the religious freedom said nation is founded upon, is hated for thinking differently from people who profess "open-mindedness" to the point of being dismissed from employment and educational institutions, and who aren't afraid to work for their own living nor to actually defend their freedoms.

One who opposes the erosion of society from psychologically destructive substances and relationship-destroying sexual promiscuity.

One who opposes freeloaders and election-rigging.
Rachel: Mike is always on time, he always gets the job done, and he hasn't called me at 3 in the morning to pick him up from a bar or bail him out of jail! How can I make the rest of my employees like that?

Steven: Well, if they were conservative like him, they would be.
by Notmy Realname November 18, 2012

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Someone who has a total of two brain cells to rub together
Shit another conservative taking a crap on your fundamental rights
by TayDay the trans girl May 22, 2016

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A person or political party so afraid of the world changing they feel the need to force every living being on the planet to reject anything new.
Person 1: I prefer the Conservative party.
Person 2: Give me one good reason why rejecting novel ideas is a good thing.
Person 1: Well, gay marriage should be illegal, same goes for freedom of speech on the internet.
Person 2: That right there is a Neophobe.
by ThatObjectivePerson December 08, 2014

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