Qualities of a conservative:

Watches Fox News religiously
Listens to talk radio
Watches football
Owns a gun - I mean a whole bunch of them
Loves professional wrestling
Loves dynamite
Loves teen idols
Thinks everyone needs a boot up their ass
Goes to church
Generally a very nice guy/gals
Compassionate
Hard working
Disciplined
Determined
Mature
Treats people with respect
Loves America

Qualities of a liberal:

Dumb
pot smoking
immature - acts like they are in middle school still
Bitches a lot
Afraid of everything
Friends with animals
Afraid of the noise of a shutgun
Hates computers unless it is a Mac
Plays guitar
Hypochondriac
Needs a psychologist
Conservatives ftw
by kyster23 April 25, 2011
1. One who believes in "traditional values" but rejects any debate challenging the conservative definition of what said values are. Conservatives claim to value limited government, but are willing to expand government without limit in order to impose their personal morality on all others.

2. A liberal when it comes to the economy. Though individuals are barred from making various personal choices, businesses may do whatever they want with no repercussions.

3. One who is quite familiar with the concept of "Majority Rules" but is unable to understand the concept of "Minority Rights" (the premise that bars the majority from voting to restrict the rights of the minority).

4. An individual who claims to value the constitution above all else, but in reality is willing to suspend all amendments for any reason related to national security (except for the 2nd).

5. A black-and-white thinker. Conservatives think largely in absolutes, ignoring the various social, cultural, and economic nuances that define an issue.
1. Conservative view: Gay marriage is wrong because the Bible says so and I value the Bible as my personal guiding force. You, a male, may thus not marry your male partner.

2. Conservative view: Though same-sex couples are destroying America, oil speculators may drive up gas prices for their own personal profit; whatever that may do to the economy.

3. Conservative view: George W. Bush won 51% of the vote in 2004. Republicans now have a "mandate" to do whatever they want without considering the opinions of the remaining 49% of Americans.

4. Conservative view: You can be held indefinitely if deemed a potential terrorist without being charged or provided a lawyer, regardless of what the constitution says. A father may keep his loaded handgun within reach of his toddler because of what the constitution can be construed to say.

5. Conservative view: Our schools are underperforming. It must be the teachers. Pay them less.
by Purudaya June 05, 2009
People who, under the pretext of religion and false "moral truths" perpetuate their greed and gain in a free-market system by exploiting the poor and working to extinguish as many civil liberties as possible. They also typically label pacifists and intellectuals as "freedom haters" and other ridiculous bullshit.
Conservatives are just Nazis without armbands. They wear ties instead of Swastikas but they hate Jews and blacks and homosexuals openly.
by KosmikKrazyKat February 26, 2005
a person that thinks "less is more" politics wise. Usually quietter when presented with a poll, and prefers to save money rather than spending it. Prefers to allow more freedom law wise (where I've lived and observed). Called Fascists by liberals (apparently). I use parentheses too much don't I? (don't send me your opinions)
That liberal is soooo wrong! He's a fascist.
I am a conservative.
The fear that someone somewhere, may be happy.
Conservatives believe in equality for all heterosexual, Christian white males.
by KevinM March 31, 2005
Exactly what the Republican party is NOT these days. Conservatives believe in smaller federal government activity, states' rights, isolationism, stronger border control, protecting American jobs and nationalism.

The Republican party currently believes in greater government spending on social programs nad the military, federal supremacy over states' rights, intervention in foreign affairs, lax immigration policies and border control, outsourcing American jobs to the Communist Chinese.
Conservative
Pat Buchanan

"Neoconservative"
George W. Bush
by RepBast1984 February 04, 2006
biblethumpers who hate freedom and love money
Conservatives: Away with abortion, free speech, and give guns to everyone! hail god yippe ke yay texas bacon
by ELITELIBERAL January 10, 2010
what many single-issue vetting hypocrites define themselves as being politically.
It's absolutely sickening, how the Bush Administration lied to us, as do most "Conservative" Republican Administrations - the murdering, the wars, the bribery, the theft, the lies, the coverups, a complete disregard for anyone or anything other than Profits - but, because they claim to be Pro-Life, i must vote for them if i'm gonna make it to heaven.
by bdawg1977 February 12, 2009

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