Sex. The physical act of love.
Maude: "Do you like it?"
Dude: "I was talking about my rug"
Maude: "You're not interested in sex?"
Dude: "You mean coitus?"
by SaneSoul December 25, 2005

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A sciency-sounding word for SECKSSS. Sheldon Cooper from the show The Big Bang Theory often replaces the word "sex" with "coitus".
Penny, did you engage in coitus with Leonard last night?

I had coitus with Amy Farrah Fowler last weekend... BAZINGA!!!!
by trajiniqa September 04, 2012

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Scientific reference for 'doing the dirty', having a 'no pants dance', or advancing courtship. Coitus is commonly used in a popular TV show, The Big Bang Theory.
Penny: *opens door* "Hey, my power's out, can I stay here for the night?"
Sheldon: "Do you really-"
Leonard: "YES, of course...th-that's what friends are for, after all. Lending a room in a time of need."
Sheldon: "Well...as long as this doesn't end up in Leonard and Penny taking part in coitus, I guess I can live with it for one night."
by IHasAWolfie January 01, 2014

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Sexual intercourse, where the male inserts his penis in to the female's vagina. The majority of males are stimulated in to ejaculating liquid filled with millions of semen.
Barney: Yeah let's have sex.
Sesame Street chick: Sex?
Barney: Coitus. Or oral sex?
Sesame Street chick: Yes. mmmm... nom nom nom.
(_(_)!!!!!!D ---> O:
by SatanIsHere December 23, 2009

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A nerdy word for "sex"
Sheldon doesn't want to have coitus until after he had his first child.
by presidenko_putin April 08, 2015

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a type of cheese that goes good with ham sandwiches
i'll take some coitus on my sammich!
by bobthebuilderofchina January 19, 2011

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Word that was being yelled in my house recently because my dumbass friend learned it in a health class and wanted to freak out my parents.
"Hey Dawn, COITUS!!!! COITUS, COITUS!!!"
by Pookie February 22, 2005

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