Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!

Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.

Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 01, 2006
The IQ of one of these peices of scum-shits can be found using the following equation:

IQ = 1
_________________
no. of gold chains^2

If you are a chav yourself, and cannot grasp the significance of this equation, it means: The more gold chains you have, the dumber you will.
2)a) If A chav has a total of only 3 gold chains on him/her, how intelligent is she/he?

IQ = 1
__
3^2

IQ = 1/9

The Chav has an IQ of 1/9. The average is 90-100.
by Comrade Dmitri February 18, 2004
Pricks, who hunt in packs
chav: got a cig mate?
pedestrian: oh no sorry.
chav2: lend us 2p m8
pedestrian: ok?
chav: cum on den
pedestrian: im sorry?
chav2: who sed ya could talk dik ed
pedestrian: erm?
chav3,4,5 and 6: fight, fight, fight
pedestrian: im just walking home
chavette: ya takin da piss
pedestrian:listen im jus walking home, whats ya problem
all chavs: oooooooh
chav:cum on den
pedestrian: erm? *walks to chav*
all chavs: shit *run off*
pedestrian: erm?
by Molluz - [zn770w] October 06, 2005
Allegedly stands for council house and violent. These are the dregs of British society, they are recognisable because they go to the same outfitter (JD Sports) and wear polyester shell clothing and baseball caps. They perfect a malnourished look by spending all their money on cigarettes and alcohol. They will often subscribe to Sky satellite television (or steal a decoder) and enjoy film sequels.
Trev and Bex died when trying to ramraid a kabab shop because the 24-hour garage had closed the previous week when the owner was shot by a gang of chavs.
by Ged Carroll September 14, 2004
1. Human equivalent of vermin. Fake sportswear, large gold jewellery (bought from argos) and (at least) quadrouple pushchair with females of the 'species'. They use a little known language derived from English slang and American 'gangsta'.Most reproduce by the age of 14, sometimes younger.Chavs are created by their parents through serious neglect or adequate education of any kind. Although the 'species' is so new, their predicted life span is around 40 years, enough time to raise a least 5 broods. They can be found around fast food outlets, shopping malls and other similer places. Their main transport is either a 'modded' shite bucket or a police vehicle of some sort.
I saw a chav a minute ago. Obviously, I shot the bastard
by Notoriousdoc May 28, 2005
Average male chav stands around 2 foot 7 inches fully grown, Sporting 2/4 stripe adidas lookalike tracksuits ((rips included)), About a hundred million fake pieces of jewellery which they call their bling ((Might explain why they only grow to 2 foot 7, Too much weight)) The common chav when reaching the required driving age for chavs ((around 8 years old)) poleslide into the chav cave, and into their chavmobile or 'chaviot', Rev it about a billion times ((because they think it makes them hard and it also makes the chavettes wet)), Before hitting the nitros.. Well kicking in their AA batteries they must fit into these 'maxed out' Novas, Neons and bodykits and a paintjob that looks so dodgy it must have been made with 'paint by numbers - for chavs'Their driving skills about as impressive as the chavettes buggy pushing skills, Both hitting everything in sight. ((The average chavette falls pregnant around age 12)) After arriving at McDonalds ((only place chavs don't get asked for ID for being 2 foot 7)) They huddle in their crew and wait for the chance to look hard. When finally the unsuspecting 4 year old comes along licking his ice cream, The chav will jump up screaming 'wat ya lukin' at, wot?.. ya wan' beef!?' ((But if the 4 year old defended himself, The chavs would scatter, Some jumping into nearby bushes, Gardens, Dog Houses, Sewers and Push Chairs of the chavettes)) This is, Of course if they don't have a getaway chaviot nearby. You may say chavs are stupid... and you'd be right, The average chav drops out of school after learning the 2 times table, Most even before this as the work is too difficult ((9 out of 10 chavs think 2+2 is 7)) Lack of education forcing them to make their own language, Can be mistaken for English after a few pints. The chavs cap is like a Samurai's sword, It's like their soul, Slap their caps off and their powerless. Although their final defense is hair so short it'd give you a rash, The shock of this awful site usually giving them enough time to tuck their 4stripes into their socks and leg it back to their 7 time pregnant chavette back at their 1 room flat in the council block. ((Common chavette has hair pulled back so tight it pulls every single part of the face with it.. Pretty much making them look like the bug monster from MIB when he attempts to look like one)) For some unknown reason a chav will always have a bigger brother, Making me think they must all be inbred, Their father being their brother, So on and so forth.
~6 chavs outside McDonalds~
"Yo bruv, Dizzy new heights wot!?"
"Yea blood, Seen, Heard, Smelt"
"Seen.. Seen"
by Liquid Sonic October 25, 2004
A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars
looks like evolution cocked it again
by big cheese October 29, 2003
chavs are the inferior race of people that plagues all towns with a McDonalds in. The boys wear tracksuits (trousers usually baggy) hoddies with the hoods up if they dont have a chat on! Most chavs wear hats so low down you cannot see their face or balancing on their head that usually consists of no brain! They hang about the streets in gangs due to the fact that they are all little faggots who cannot fight,also gettin pissed and causing trouble for the people who are minding their own business. Chavette's are the loud mouth slags walking about shopping centres or towns smoking, swearing and starting on any other girl that walks past them. Normaly pregnant at the age of 14. Most chavette's are dressed in fake burberry or valour tracksuits, gold chains with letters, dolls or a clown about 7 loop earings in each ear, 2 or 3 rings on each finger! Hair stuck to their head and pulled back to much they cannot move their eyebrows!
It is impossable to understand chavs due to the strange decline in their speech skills or the evolution of chav talk!
chav1 "im bored wot can we do?"
chav2 "lets try to fing some grungers and start beef with them"
chav1 "ye dirty grungers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 chavs outside a shop, a person with black top n trousers walks past
chav1 "errrr look dirty goth"
chav2 "errrr y dnt u....eat raw meat!"
chav1 "hahaha good 1!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chav1 "ite blud"
chav2 "ite"
chav3 "sup manz"
chav1 "nutin much blud jus smokin"
chav3 "arrrr saves me!"
chav2 "twos me brudda!"
chav1 "k"
chav3 "safe"
chav2 "bare safe"
chav1 "wot we doin 2nite manz?"
chav3 "lets get pissed in the street!"
chav2 "arrrrr blud idea!"
by E.Matt May 19, 2005
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