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i cant tell if i am joking 

An instagram meme page that went downhill but still has loyal followers
weirdo 1: dude you have heard i_cant_tell_if_i_am_joking ???

normal person: no?? lol whats that

weirdo 2: i cant tell if i am joking is a meme page- the admins are weird and the posts are too. BUT ITS RLLY ADDICTING, also it had kind of been going downhill BUT i am a loyal follower‼️ been here since 64 followers

I cant even tell you 

When you literally do not even know what to say prior to a question
"Johnathan why are there black men twerking on your phone?"

"i cant even tell you"

can't tell me nothin' 

A phrase that instantly refutes hating, unwarranted criticism, and other nonsense when said criticism is levied directly at its object, as opposed to through an intermediary. Made popular by the Kanye West song of the same name.
Playa': {Walks into club, solo, sporting black fedora and one-button blazer.}

Hater #1: Ayo, nigga, Usher want his hat back!

Hater #2: Yo, ur homiez shinin' up the Benz, gee?

Playa': Man, y'all can't tell me nothin'!!

you can't tell me 

You can't tell me is a way of life. It is when a person will do whatever he or she damn well pleases. If you attempt to tell a person to not do something, not only will they do it on purpose, but they will respond wit hthe phrase,"YOU CAN'T TELL ME"
Steve: "Scott(driving 60 in a 40) slow down
Scott: "you can't tell me" (accelerates to 75)
Steve: celebration!
you can't tell me by scottyd3186 December 4, 2010

Can't tell me arse from a hole in the ground 

Southern British slang meaning I ain't got a clue woss goin on.Best discription of an acid trip I've ever heard.
Fuckin ell,I can't tell me arse from a hole in the ground!

Can't tell the difference between a kangaroo and a rabbit 

Cant't tell the difference between a kangaroo and a rabbit.

To be very inexperienced, synonym with the word "Rookie." May also refer to a lightweight alcoholic drinker that is way over the limit.

Say it inside a courtroom, the courtroom will show its true colors and intentions.
Can't tell the difference between a kangaroo and a rabbit.

From a cartoon of a guy that didn't know what a kangaroo was.

That guy from Looney Tunes thought he was boxing the Jackalope or a Giant Rabbit.

He was boxing a Kangaroo this entire time.