like a tit wank but with your arse
kristen didn't want full anal so offered a bum wank instead
by watermelonclitlicker May 31, 2010
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To wipe your arse crack over your victims nose in a forward and back motion. Thus leaving a shitty smell in their nose.
Eric was so annoying that Dave gave him a bum wank.
by Afcb stu October 7, 2006
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When a male person vigorously inserts and retracts his forefinger from his own anus, whilst with his other hand; angrily masturbates to an explosive climax.
Note - is not an exclusively solo act - one could improvise and perhaps masturbate himself while his housemaid or sister assisted with the fingering portion.
1) ...gentleman one to gentleman two "I say, I spiced up my evening tug last night, and fiddled the badge with my forefinger. I believe my son calls it a fingery bum wank".

2) ...young stud remarks "Jesus I had a shocker last night..I convinced this chick to help me out with a fingery bum wank and ended up shitting all over her hand and wrist"..... young studs friend "...nightmare, but respect!"
by The F P February 4, 2011
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To furiously prod ones self in the anus with one finger whilst masturbationg visciously at the same time
Son, why does your duvet smell of poo and sex wee? have you been having one of your pokey bum wanks again?
by Dave September 16, 2003
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This phrase can be used to put emphasis on how giddy a friend, colleague or a familiar is.

It is usually used when said people have a sense of achievement or acquired something cheaper.

It can also refer to masturbating your anus with one of your fingers because you're too ugly to get laid.
Man 1: " I got a 2 for 1 deal on these sandwiches!"

Man 2: *makes masturbation gesture* "Finger bum wank sandwich deal!!! You're really saving those pennies!"

Or

Man 1: "Hey I got her number!"

Man 2: "Finger bum wank! She's only the village bike Mr sloppy seconds!"
by FessSquad June 1, 2022
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One who stimulates/fingers their bottom hole whilst masturbating.
Jack got so turned on by “Transsexual Heartbreakers Vol 2” he had to drop his trousers and have a pokey bum wank.
by MisterLee October 7, 2003
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Pokie bum wank is when you slide a finger or a couple of fingers up your ass whilst having a wank.
"Hey Marv , I'm ducking home quick for a pokie bum wank ay bruv"
by Dub_unicorn November 13, 2017
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