a heated competition to see who gives the best blumpkin. the winner is then crowned as the "blump king" or "blump queen"

dude im having a blump off this weekend, wanna come.

O yeah, but you know im going to be the blump king
by vince mildew January 27, 2009
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A Porter Blump is a delicate, complex, and rather steamy process through which an individual is receiving fellatio from another individual in an outhouse or 'Porter Potty' while taking a dumpasaurus rex. The receiver experiences an unprecedented rush of pleasure from the act of defecating and ejaculating simultaneously. The giver feels similar to Tom Cruise.
Hey mom, u wanna help me out with this porter blump?

I straight up gave that thug a porter blump in the cornfield. --Slutty Ho

That porter blump made me sweat like a lesbian's armpit.
by Rim Job Reagan March 25, 2009
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A blumpkin where the person responsible for pooping doesn't actually poop.
Did you just do a blump fake? You've gotta be kidding me, Seth. All I wanted for Mother's Day was to give you a blumpkin. The least you could have done was farted!
by Seth Chortleton May 24, 2019
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Receiving a blumpkin (taking a shit while you're getting some dome) while driving. This can be done either into a bed pan or just onto the seat if you really don't give a shit.
Rebecca gave you a speed blump last night? Was it in a bed pan or did you just let it fly free?
by MrBeaverK February 23, 2010
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Using a fleshlight with a mouth-shape to pleasure oneself while taking a dump on the toilet.
by Pablo Escobarr February 10, 2011
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The act of defecating into a condom while receiving a blowjob. The male then proceeds to swing the club-like, poo-filled prophylactic to hit the gleeful victim.

Man, is my arm tired from giving my lady a few too many swings with the ol' blump club.
by Der Crusher April 7, 2009
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