Pay no mind all of the other definitions here involving penile slapping or other perverted juvenile hoohah, Bismarck is a town in south central North Dakota (and named after Otto Von Bismarck) that is also the state capital, but this is really all it has going for it. It's the 2nd largest city in ND, (with Fargo being #1), but it has the provincial mindset of a town a tenth of its size.
Bismarck (also known either as the "Bizzo", "Bis-bang" or "Bisquick") is a quite boring, convervative-minded, extremely philistine, & white-bread town where people aged 18-35 are conspicuously absent, mainly because they have all moved away to other more intellectually & culturally superior cities (mainly to go to school there), namely Fargo, Minneapolis, Seattle, Chicago, etc. The majority of the population that live in Bismarck are all either soccer-mom-type families and the middle-aged to elderly, making for less than a "hip" city (for want of a better term).
Bismarck is a depressing, bland shithole, however, it is quite a clean, quiet, and near crime-free city, but that's it. There are no clubs or decent music venues, no decent art museums, no Thai restaurants, no bohemian/intellectual aspects at all, just the same old tired soccer-mom & blue-collar-barfly-catering interests, (however, the "Urban Harvest" festival held downtown every summer is somewhat of a refreshing exception to this). The only form of recreation around here is either getting drunk, or driving up and down Main St. downtown continuously, ad nauseaum, wasting gasoline.
Also, the music scene here is quite disappointing, its mainly middle-aged (once again) bar-playing cover bands doing covers of 70s "classic rock" tunes, and white blues players, although there are a few exceptions. However, the music scene here 10 years ago (around 97-98) was quite impressive (even giving Fargo or Minot's scenes a run for their respective monies), with quite a few punk/metal/indie/electronic groups. But alas, this was soon to come to an end with all the people involved in these bands moving far away from here later on :(.
Bismarck is a great place to live, if you want to be bored to insanity, or to be deprived of anything of cultural/intellectual significance. What can I say, Bismarck is quite a middle-aged city if there ever was one. I'd leave this city in a heartbeat, but it seems like I'm perpetually impoverished to afford a move...
Bismarck (also known either as the "Bizzo", "Bis-bang" or "Bisquick") is a quite boring, convervative-minded, extremely philistine, & white-bread town where people aged 18-35 are conspicuously absent, mainly because they have all moved away to other more intellectually & culturally superior cities (mainly to go to school there), namely Fargo, Minneapolis, Seattle, Chicago, etc. The majority of the population that live in Bismarck are all either soccer-mom-type families and the middle-aged to elderly, making for less than a "hip" city (for want of a better term).
Bismarck is a depressing, bland shithole, however, it is quite a clean, quiet, and near crime-free city, but that's it. There are no clubs or decent music venues, no decent art museums, no Thai restaurants, no bohemian/intellectual aspects at all, just the same old tired soccer-mom & blue-collar-barfly-catering interests, (however, the "Urban Harvest" festival held downtown every summer is somewhat of a refreshing exception to this). The only form of recreation around here is either getting drunk, or driving up and down Main St. downtown continuously, ad nauseaum, wasting gasoline.
Also, the music scene here is quite disappointing, its mainly middle-aged (once again) bar-playing cover bands doing covers of 70s "classic rock" tunes, and white blues players, although there are a few exceptions. However, the music scene here 10 years ago (around 97-98) was quite impressive (even giving Fargo or Minot's scenes a run for their respective monies), with quite a few punk/metal/indie/electronic groups. But alas, this was soon to come to an end with all the people involved in these bands moving far away from here later on :(.
Bismarck is a great place to live, if you want to be bored to insanity, or to be deprived of anything of cultural/intellectual significance. What can I say, Bismarck is quite a middle-aged city if there ever was one. I'd leave this city in a heartbeat, but it seems like I'm perpetually impoverished to afford a move...
by RDS May 11, 2007
(noun) The act of ejaculating in a chick's eye and then punching it shut so the resulting scene resembles the Iron Chancellor's famous monacle.
(verb) 'to bismark'
(verb) 'to bismark'
My girl's been complaining about the toilet seat lately, so I'm gonna give her a Bismarck tonight.
Her eye was shut for three days after I Bismarcked her!
Her eye was shut for three days after I Bismarcked her!
by number 9 February 08, 2008
Slapping someone across the face with your semi flaccid penis. In order to leave a dick shaped bruise on the face.
by Akwon June 26, 2006
A bismarck is when you take your dick and slap it across someone else's face. If you are gay, then you will do it do another guy. If you are sraight, then you will do it to another girl. It is pretty nasty and sick people do that.
Take for example a conversation between a freak named Josh and his sister Jaime.
Josh: Hey Jaime do you want a bismarck?
Jaime: What is a bismarck?
Josh: It's when I take my penis and slap it across your face.
Jaime: Oh my god, thats nasty. I can't believe you said that. I'm telling mom.
Josh: Hey you still haven't answered my question. Do you want a bismarck?
Josh: Hey Jaime do you want a bismarck?
Jaime: What is a bismarck?
Josh: It's when I take my penis and slap it across your face.
Jaime: Oh my god, thats nasty. I can't believe you said that. I'm telling mom.
Josh: Hey you still haven't answered my question. Do you want a bismarck?
by The INDIAN PIMP from NSA May 06, 2006
(BIZZ-maRK)
-noun
1. The capital city of the great North Dakota.
2. Believed to be the signiture move of the German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, it is the name given for the action of ramming one's erection down the throat of an oralee unannounced right before a bountiful load of sperm is freed out of the erection with a force so mighty that it escapes out of the nasal cavity, giving the oralee an appearance of having boogers. Also referred to as {The Kindergardner}
-noun
1. The capital city of the great North Dakota.
2. Believed to be the signiture move of the German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, it is the name given for the action of ramming one's erection down the throat of an oralee unannounced right before a bountiful load of sperm is freed out of the erection with a force so mighty that it escapes out of the nasal cavity, giving the oralee an appearance of having boogers. Also referred to as {The Kindergardner}
The great think about fat chicks is that you give them a {Bismarck} they either sniff the shit back in or blow bubbles with it.
by GeneGine October 11, 2006
(BIZZ-maRK)
-noun
1. The capital city of the great North Dakota.
2. Believed to be the signiture move of the German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, it is the name given for the action of ramming one's erection down the throat of an oralee unannounced right before a bountiful load of sperm is freed out of the erection with a force so mighty that it escapes out of the nasal cavity, giving the oralee an appearance of having boogers. Also referred to as {The Kindergardner}
-noun
1. The capital city of the great North Dakota.
2. Believed to be the signiture move of the German Chancellor Otto Von Bismarck, it is the name given for the action of ramming one's erection down the throat of an oralee unannounced right before a bountiful load of sperm is freed out of the erection with a force so mighty that it escapes out of the nasal cavity, giving the oralee an appearance of having boogers. Also referred to as {The Kindergardner}
The great think about fat chicks is that you give them a {Bismarck} and they either sniff the shit back in or blow bubbles with it.
by GeneGine October 11, 2006
Probably the best kind of donut(doughnught..whatever). Also the capitol of North Dakota. The Olsen twins were born here.
by The Terminator November 14, 2005