Benjamin Franklin
One of the 'Founding Fathers', Ben Franklin was a well-known author, statesman, poet, musician, and inventor. Franklin was responsible for some of the most important features of the Constitution. Some of his accomplishments include:
* Inventor of Floam
* Paula Abdul's first dance instructor
* Amish Rake Fighting (scored 27 kills, 83 maims in first season)
* Known to place 'whoopee cushions' under Madison's seat during meetings
* Porked 1275 women during his lifetime
* Was able to leap tall buildings with a single bound
* Often dressed as a pregnant nun and walked through the streets shouting, "Come and get it, fellas!"
* Once walked into Congress after a night of heavy drinking and opened fire with his AK-47
* Liked to play with puppies
* Held regular staring contests with his neighbors
* Tried to have Hillary Clinton drawn and quartered
* Had girly-hippy hair
* Advertises on the $100.00 bill with a frowny face
* Prone to depression and extreme violence
* A Taoist-anarchist
* Hated tuna casserole
* Inventor of Floam
* Paula Abdul's first dance instructor
* Amish Rake Fighting (scored 27 kills, 83 maims in first season)
* Known to place 'whoopee cushions' under Madison's seat during meetings
* Porked 1275 women during his lifetime
* Was able to leap tall buildings with a single bound
* Often dressed as a pregnant nun and walked through the streets shouting, "Come and get it, fellas!"
* Once walked into Congress after a night of heavy drinking and opened fire with his AK-47
* Liked to play with puppies
* Held regular staring contests with his neighbors
* Tried to have Hillary Clinton drawn and quartered
* Had girly-hippy hair
* Advertises on the $100.00 bill with a frowny face
* Prone to depression and extreme violence
* A Taoist-anarchist
* Hated tuna casserole
Benjamin Franklin by Glastonbury Dex January 5, 2009
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