An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.
Sketchball A: We need to go out the side door. If we don't your ass monkey will come with us to dinner.
Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.
Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.
Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.
Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.
by I-Heart-Shiksas December 19, 2007
A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.
Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.
by Petros March 10, 2004
by pseudoraptor February 19, 2010
"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"
by Bobo aka Bart Clocker the Fart Knocker March 24, 2004
by SchwarzerWind September 1, 2003
Someone that is so very obsessed with ass, though this is not where the term's meaning comes from. Rather, it is the behavior of these ass monkeys. They act like douchebags for no reason and are typically extremely unintelligent.
John: "Yo, did you go to Mark's party last night? It was wild!"
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."
by Jay Faraday May 23, 2020
A person (usually a man) who i such an asshole that people leave the room when he enters and announces his presence.
At Jake's wedding, Dan was such an ass monkey that entire sections of the bride's family left the reception early.
by Andrew Rentschler June 9, 2004