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A thick growth of hair on a man's (or, I suppose, a woman's) ass. Extremely unattractive.
'Whenever he gets drunk he thinks it's funny to pull his pants down and show us his butt, but the joke's on him. Now everybody totally knows he has a CRAZY ass carpet.'
by Something_Vague June 16, 2007
the burn a gay man receives on his ass when they make intiment sexy time on the carpeted floor.
Joe: Hey rick, hows the ass carpet feelin'?

Rick: It burns...
by PD&JG June 28, 2007