When you are sexually attracted to yourself.
Bryant is a masturbation master.
Matthew is planning a wedding ceremony were he will marry himself.
Andrew gave himself anal. He had to use his finger because using a dildo would mean he was letting someone other than himself give him sexual pleasure.
All of these little cunts are Asexual.
via giphy
by HORNYGREENMAN February 21, 2017

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A stupid ass decision because you will never get head or a pussy licken'.
You asexual? BITCH WHERE!?!?
by Shawty939 April 14, 2017

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Someone who wants to be a virgin
Damn, Sarah's hot! She's still a virgin too!

Nah, she's asexual
by Alternis Ringabel Dim September 10, 2016

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A term popular among dullards who lack a personality or anything interesting to say.

Typically invoked by the unattractive, often as a pathetic attempt to make themselves feel superior. Since they never get laid but at the same time refuse to outright demonize sex like religious types or celibates might, they have to embrace their cognitive dissonance whole-heartedly (i.e annoy the shit out of everybody) by bringing up their asexuality whenever they feel threatened or insecure, which is all the time. They will always be the first ones to distance themselves from subject matter such as dating, intimacy or gender discussions. Nevermind that the adults are trying to have a mature, thoughtful, intelligent conversation. The asexual's desire to feel like a special, unique snowflake takes precedence over everyone else, which might explain why they're so awful in bed to begin with. Whereas a healthy, well-adjusted individual considers libido a good thing, asexuals tend to dwell on their missing mojo as a bragging point, like a sterile killer clown giving parenting advice.

Perhaps the most ironic part is that if they could shut the fuck up about themselves for five seconds, they might actually find the act of giving and receiving sexual pleasure worthwhile. As it stands though, they have switched out physical masturbation for narcissism, self-pleasure for self-absorption and libido for a bland label that endears them to absolutely no one.
"I couldn't contribute anything meaningful when my friends all began talking about their love lives, so I kept reminding them that I was asexual since I have zero unique qualities."
by hooksashands July 28, 2016

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A person (male or female) that can be attracted to either of the sexes but not in a sexual mannor. They have little or no sexual urges, wants, or desires unless mating but may still hold interest in relationships and love. Feels closness only on an emotional basis. May have a chemical inbalance.
No, shes not a lesbian she's A-sexual.
by b_slushie January 01, 2008

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People who think they can jack off in the grass an watch a person grow out the ground like a fucking tree.

An animal that doesn't have reproductive organs. Sprouts children elsewhere.

A fucking tree.
"That fag thinks he can be asexual!"
by life10 June 01, 2016

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An asexual person is a human being that is unaware of the definition of the word "asexual." They believe that because they have a lack of a sex drive they need to have a special name. To be asexual is to be capable of self reproduction, such as the komodo dragon. Humans are not able to be asexual.
Man: I am asexual.

Other man: No, you are not. Moron.
by Samsquatch1234 November 20, 2015

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