What the absolute fuck?

When "What the fuck?" isnt sufficiently exasperated enough, "What the absolute fuck" is used.

Same as "What the actual fuck?" except more localized in New Zealand.

John: What the absolute fuck is Jim doing?
Dave: I have no idea man

Jim: Hey Mike someone shat in your shower bro
Mike: What the absolute fuck?

John: Man this is badly organized...
Jim: Yeah I have no idea what the absolute fuck is going on.

by BloodBomb January 4, 2011

Absolute Fucking Walnut

The best insult known to man. Used by Dick Beater McFingers

Patrick: Dude, I just hit Tom's grandma with my truck! Shit, bro!..

Tristan: You ABSOLUTE FUCKING WALNUT!!!

by Dick Beater McFingers May 6, 2015

absolute fucking shambles

A phrase commonly used to describe a terribly organised event.

Josh: Did you go to that curry night Conor organised?
Ciaran: Yeh, it was an absolute fucking shambles!

by Shambolic Badger September 12, 2017

absolutely fucking ridiculous

beyond ridiculous. Unimaginable. Extremely stupid. Usually refers to unrealistic expectations.

A job application asking for 5 professional letters of reference in a first round of applications is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

by Janjann November 3, 2013

Absolute fucking boys

A true friend. A ride or die. Where you can always rely no matter what

Them: yo! Chris, Alex and Alan are some good dudes

Me: they’re the absolute fucking boys

by Walnutted October 17, 2022

what in the absolute fuck

The most extreme variant of what the fuck. Considered to be one step above what in the actual fuck.

"Hey Tom, we're gonna need you to come in this weekend." "Really?" "Yeah. Also, the client moved the deadline from next month, to next Thursday..." "Okay...What in the absolute fuck?"

by otakudude303 October 9, 2018

Absolute Fucking Chad

Chad, but he had an extra 5 red bulls

The absolute fucking chad beat the man, because he said red bull was bad.

by Absolute Chad Mate March 11, 2021