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1.
A polite way to to respond to thanks. Implies that the other person is welcome to ask for any other favors. Synonymous with no problem.
Howard: Thanks for washing the dog, Pete.

Pete: You're welcome.
by Diggity Monkeez February 28, 2005
 
2.
The only phrase in the english language that has no correct response other than changing the subject entirely.
you: Thanks for the cheeseburger.

a friend: You're welcome.

you: I......yeah, so.....um, I'll...... yes.

------

you: Thanks for forgiving me about the whole "pizza" thing.

a friend: You're welcome.

you: So that was some pretty fine bowling, wasn't it? I mean those guys are professionals.
by Manamanah March 29, 2009
 
3.
n. the unsolicited response, to the thanks which was never given, given upon completion of a wholly one-sided sexual act benefiting only the speaker.

v. to afford the other party with the opportunity to fellate you, free of the unfortunate encumbrance of reciprocity, feeling, or any other contact other than that between mouth and penis.
n.
SomeGuy: (finishes fellatio)
Mortimore Goth: (recipient of fellatio) "You're welcome."

v.
"I 'you're welcomed' a Pakistani barista with shingles and a retired cab-driver this weekend."
by Mortimore Goth December 21, 2009
 
4.
Something to say when a co-worker sneezes and there are others in the room. Always gets a laugh due to its incongruity.

For tonz 'o laffs, be prepared with a list of other pointless customary statements for when the person sneezes many times in succesion, e.g.
yes please
fine thank you
I'm sorry
no thank you
(sneeze) you're welcome
(sneeze) yes please
(sneeze) fine thank you
(sneeze) I'm sorry
(sneeze) no thank you
by The Wandering Understander February 11, 2004