an archaic company that trades in cable internet and phone service. they force you to stay with them for two years and for what? their packages and prices were reasonable by 2002 standards but now as they are being surpassed by every other company they just start derping while the competition leaves them in the dust.

their cable package has no local news and everything is extra. their dvr service is shoddy and expensive. their phone service is a different amount every month and leaves you to guesstimate how much you want to use your phone.
the service plans are also laughable. they even charge for toll free calls. that being said, they do have excellent coverage, but living on the east coast (or anywhere but the rockies) I can get service just as good with a sprint based network. also in canada and europe their service is piss poor.
1. bill: I just got fios at my house! lets watch hbo.
later: WTF? I have to buy all the good stuff a la carte what a rip off
2. mike: aaah now to watch the ren and stimpy episode I recorded on my dvr last night.
what the hell? my dvr stopped working again? that's the third time this week
3. ted: now to see how that labor strike played out.
where's my local news? oh that's right I switched to verizon. now all I get is national news that doesn't cover my home state at all.
4. verizon derpshit: Duuuh look I got me a verizon phone, all I had to do was agree to their outrageous prices for two years, Now I gets to buy as many minutes as I want every month and I gets two whole gigabytes of data. that's a lot. I can also call any ten people I want without using minutes.
me: wow two whole gigabytes, that will get you about twenty minutes on youtube. have fun sophies choiceing your friends
verizon derpshit: but I gets service anywhere in the US
Me: we live on the east coast, where dropped calls went out like the dodo bird.
5.random guy: I was on a conference call for work and now I get stuck with a $150 dollar overage? they assured me it was toll free.
customer service drone: (with trollface on) sorry, but we charge for toll free calls. (this actually happened to me)

Verizon blows. anyone else will give you better cell service. since leaving, I can call anyone without using minutes, and get a consistent bill every month. coverage is never a problem.
by master of fire December 7, 2011
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After the great telecom merger of 2005/2006, to combat the voice over ip menace brought forth by the cable companies, one company made up of parts from Southwestern Bell, Bell South, and AT&T emerged controlling 85% of all telephone lines in the USA. This leaves only 2 telephone companies in america, Verizon, and NOT Verizon. The name was chosen for simplicity sake, as now everybody knows what company your talking about.
I just upgraded my DSL package.
Oh? Whos your provider.
South western.... no they changed their name to AT&T... and bought Bell... I forget?
Oh, you mean NOT Verizon. Ya i saw that package, looks good.
by Ratbait May 10, 2006
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Verb: To get taken to the cleaners, shafted or otherwise screwed over by a megacorp or government entity
Comcast Verizoned me so so hard this month. WTF is a "broadcast fee"!?! And $15 extra for HD?? What a crock.
by MrWiggly31 November 17, 2016
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When u blow a load in a girls ear and then ask..... can u hear me now?
I gave that bitch a verizon
by Gianetto is queer August 16, 2004
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A Cell Phone company who claims to be the best, who have the least amount of dropped calls, (because they wont drop a call, they would rather have you sit through static and have to pay). who likes to rip of customers by telling them one thing and doing another. SEE Hidden Costs who isnt going to stand a chance when T-Mobile takes over.
Can you hear me now?
HUH?
Can you hear me now?
HUH?
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
HELLO I CANT HEAR A THING BUT STATIC.
OH MY GOD my cell phone bill is outrageous. i cant afford this.
by dalejr237 June 12, 2005
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Damn man, this Verizon phone sux, I can't hear shit but static.
by Tony April 12, 2005
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A cell phone service provider that claims to have signal nearly everywhere. However, there is no signal in vaginas. (Seriously, if you don't believe me, try it!)
person 1: Okay I'm calling you!
person 2: You are?
person 1: Yeah, it's not ringing?
person 2: ...Nope. Dang Verizon.
by CallWaiting February 1, 2009
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