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1.
To have anal sex with someone without touching either of their butt cheeks.
Guy 1 - "How was that party, bro?"

Guy 2 - "Awesome! I hooked up with a drunk chick and gave her an uncrustable!"

Guy 1 and Guy 2 fistbump
by Seth_McFoster March 30, 2011
 
2.
Possibly the best food ever invented/discovered.
Hey kids, what do you want for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
UNCRUSTABLES!
by Muffincakes April 29, 2008
 
3.
An unsatisfying, extremely processed sealed crustless sandwich made by Smucker's that takes away all the "hassle" involved in making a sandwich.
"Man, I want a PB&J so bad right now! But I just don't feel like making one. It's so much work! I know! I'll have an uncrustable!"
by thoraxcorp11 August 27, 2008
 
4.
The black crusties that fill up in your gooch and buttcrack if you don't shower for a few days
Dude, I couldn't masterbate yesterday, i couldn't stand the smell of my uncrustables!
by datboiwithfiya July 11, 2009
 
5.
Uncrustables are SUPPOSED to be this instant sandwich things that taste great. But they don't. The are nasty and gooey on the inside and the bread looks like congealed tofu and tastes like sponge.They generally come in two flavours; PB and J (which does not contain real PB or J) and grilled cheese (which features a orange mess which was at one point processed cheese) Second of all the name uncrustable (which i must point out is grammatically incorrect) suggest the thing doesn't have a crust. If you've ever seen them you'd know they do;not a bread crust but a pie crust. Thirdly what is the logic of instant sandwiches? Isn't a sandwich for convienience in the first place? Are people really that lazy? It takes less than 5 minutes to make a PB an J sandwich and cut the crusts off. Oh and after all it's processed nastiness it's not a guilty pleasure like Taco Bell...it doesn't even taste good. The jelly is goeey and the PB has a really weird texture like chewy melting carpet. Real sandwiches taste a hell of a lot better and one of these days someones gonna tell everyone those things can give you cancer. I don't trust those spongey oddly white bread thingy and the stuff on the inside is NOT real PB or J.
Person: Hey want a grilled cheese uncrustable?
Sane Person Who Is Not Poor Starving College Student: Nah dude I'm not that hungry and I heard those things could give you cancer. I mean it's not even real bread.
by AdorableDork October 27, 2006