"If ya lived in Taft, yeeed be home by na."

A place full of aqueducts and rolling California plains. The absolute worst place ever. Outside of Bakersfield in all its grandeur. You can go to Taft College and get gas vouchers to help you afford the awful drive. They offer a partial scholarship to any applicant. The closest thing to fun is a murky lake chalk full of Mexican immigrants. 30 miles from the closest suit and tie. All you will find here is poor retirees, and oil field workers.
"Hey ma, are we home yet?

"Ye son, just look at the sign up ahead."

Sign reads, "If ya lived in Taft, yeeed be home by na."

Real sign. Real people. Taft, California
by Vizzl3 February 12, 2009

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Top Definition
Too Asexual For That

Leonardio Da Vinci was the OG member of TAFT.
Friend 1: You gon' smash that D*** TONIGHT?!
Friend 2: dude. WHAT? NO. TAFT. -proceeds to eating a meal4one consisting of frozen veggie patties and sugar packets-

Friend 1: Hey isn't that guy hot?
Friend 2: Yeah, super emotional and skinny, so hotttt.

Friend 1: Wait, aren't you TAFT?
Friend 2: You can appreciate when you're TAFT, you just don't want to do anything about it.

Friend 1: Can I join TAFT?
Friend 2: Sure! Do you like fornicating though?
Friend 1: Yes
Friend 2: Then no.
by Cmoney$$ June 24, 2016

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fat, bloated, chubby, plump, round

Derives from the name of 27th President, William Howard Taft, who once got stuck in a bathtub because of how taft he was.
"Jerin, stop eating so fast! You will become taft if you continue to eat like that."
by AnToMr February 20, 2014

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(Verb) To have sex in a bathtub.
Derived from President William Taft, who got stuck in a bathtub.
-Did you Taft last night?
-No bro, my bathtub is broken.
by Dr T. October 31, 2016

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a drug addicted, trailar park, full of incestual Rednecks
TAFT, just 5 mins away from the Orlando Airport.
by Joseph & Brain, The FAT Kids. November 16, 2003

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The definition of the perfect boyfriend.
Good looking, interesting, funny, athletic, sweet and just gorgeous. Oh and he can definitely whistle like a pro.
Person 1:Hey it's Taft!
Person 2: Whose that?
Person 3: My boyfriend and the most perfect one ever!
by memyselfandiwouldliketokno August 25, 2010

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Totes Awesome For Toes .. that's all you need to know
"dude how's your ice cream"
"It's TAFT"

or

"Hey I got you this v-neck band tee just because"
"OMG you're so TAFT!"
by I'm Taft October 07, 2011

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Acronym: Times Are Fucking Tough. In other words life sucks, deal with it.
"the boss is making me work though lunch"

"TAFT"

"true that."
by Swintronix April 19, 2009

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