Speed-o-Shit 

The shit one takes while at school, so one does not have to walk in awkwardly after a 10 minute bathroom break. Usually includes grunts, splashes, and frantic pulling of the toilet paper off the roll. Trying to take a Speed-o-Shit does not work well if the shitter has constipation; but if one can pull it off with ideal conditions, it will seem as if the peed rather than pooped, judging by the time span between them leaving the room and coming back.

Will: Hey, Gerard, you're back from the restroom. That was quick!

Gerard: Yeah, I took a Speed-o-Shit.

Speed-o-Shit by Titobanana September 15, 2013