The most despicable species of woman known to humankind.
Soccer Mom is aged 30 to 50 years and can always be found in Havertown, PA. She lives in an overrated neighborhood which in all honesty looks like lower-middle-class suburban Philadelphia on a good day.
She drives either a minivan or an SUV, which she needs to cart around her 2.3 kids, who are as obnoxious as all get out. In addition to soccer, the little darlings also particiate in karate, ballet, basketball, hockey, etc. They are never disciplined because soccer mom fervently believes they are perfect in all ways.
She's married to Mr. Corporate America. He's usually burnt out because he's forced to work 60+ hours every week in order to pay the sky-high mortgage, two car payments, private school tuitions, fees for the kids' activities, and the bills for Soccer Mom's profligate spending. He therefore needs to blow off steam by either screwing random secretary sluts or by spending his lunch hours at the local titty bar. Soccer mom either doesn't know this or doesn't want to.
Soccer Mom has no life outside her children and their activities. During the day when the kids are in school, she can be found trolling the local shopping mall and maxing out hubby's credit card buying stuff she doesn't need at the Bombay Company. She also is forced into the mall during the day as a way of killing time until the Merry Maids are finished cleaning the house.
Soccer Mom's musical preferences are Celine Dion and Faith Hill. She can't blast a Celine Dion CD in someone's presence without launching into her nauseating story of how she and hubby danced their wedding dance to "My Heart Will Go On," and how perfectly the song epitomizes her feelings for him. Sigh.
Soccer Mom sees any woman who's reasonably attractive and within 10 lbs. of her ideal body weight as a threat and a slut with the potential to seduce hubby. As if any woman would want his flabby ass!
Soccer Mom also has a rabid tendency to keep up with the Joneses.
All things considered, someone to avoid.
Soccer Mom is aged 30 to 50 years and can always be found in Havertown, PA. She lives in an overrated neighborhood which in all honesty looks like lower-middle-class suburban Philadelphia on a good day.
She drives either a minivan or an SUV, which she needs to cart around her 2.3 kids, who are as obnoxious as all get out. In addition to soccer, the little darlings also particiate in karate, ballet, basketball, hockey, etc. They are never disciplined because soccer mom fervently believes they are perfect in all ways.
She's married to Mr. Corporate America. He's usually burnt out because he's forced to work 60+ hours every week in order to pay the sky-high mortgage, two car payments, private school tuitions, fees for the kids' activities, and the bills for Soccer Mom's profligate spending. He therefore needs to blow off steam by either screwing random secretary sluts or by spending his lunch hours at the local titty bar. Soccer mom either doesn't know this or doesn't want to.
Soccer Mom has no life outside her children and their activities. During the day when the kids are in school, she can be found trolling the local shopping mall and maxing out hubby's credit card buying stuff she doesn't need at the Bombay Company. She also is forced into the mall during the day as a way of killing time until the Merry Maids are finished cleaning the house.
Soccer Mom's musical preferences are Celine Dion and Faith Hill. She can't blast a Celine Dion CD in someone's presence without launching into her nauseating story of how she and hubby danced their wedding dance to "My Heart Will Go On," and how perfectly the song epitomizes her feelings for him. Sigh.
Soccer Mom sees any woman who's reasonably attractive and within 10 lbs. of her ideal body weight as a threat and a slut with the potential to seduce hubby. As if any woman would want his flabby ass!
Soccer Mom also has a rabid tendency to keep up with the Joneses.
All things considered, someone to avoid.
"Look out for the runaway minivan driven by the soccer mom!"
"The parking lot was crammed with soccer moms dropping their kids off to practice."
"The parking lot was crammed with soccer moms dropping their kids off to practice."
by Machka January 29, 2007
A middle-aged, overprotective woman, usually the mother of two children with names like Britney, Brandon, Caitlyn, Austin, etc. She is usually blonde (often bleached) and has average to above average looks (the latter usually being also a "trophy wife").
She lives in the suburbs, doesn't work (may become an obnoxious realtor after the kids go off to college), and spends an inordinate amount of time at her kids' schools, usually to the chagrin of the teachers and/or administrators.
She is the reason, and the ONLY reason, why Kids Bop has a market because she wouldn't dare let her precious children listen to the actual versions of Top 40 radio.
She drives a gas guzzeling SUV embossed with soccer decals on the rear window. If her husband is particularly successful (usually an overpaid attorney), she drives the higher end version of said SUV (such as the GMC Denali or a Lexus RX 330) so as to show all the more middle income SMs that she is just a bit better than they are.
She lives in the suburbs, doesn't work (may become an obnoxious realtor after the kids go off to college), and spends an inordinate amount of time at her kids' schools, usually to the chagrin of the teachers and/or administrators.
She is the reason, and the ONLY reason, why Kids Bop has a market because she wouldn't dare let her precious children listen to the actual versions of Top 40 radio.
She drives a gas guzzeling SUV embossed with soccer decals on the rear window. If her husband is particularly successful (usually an overpaid attorney), she drives the higher end version of said SUV (such as the GMC Denali or a Lexus RX 330) so as to show all the more middle income SMs that she is just a bit better than they are.
The soccer mom popped Kids Bop 6 into her cd player to entertain her daughter, Britney, while driving her to gymnastics. After dropping Britney off, she sped to her nail appointment. Her husband, Jeff, later met her at the Country Club after he finished playing a round of golf with his buddies from the firm.
Meanwhile their son, Brandon, who had been busy applying to several colleges, was taking a break by fucking his girlfriend in his parent's hot tub.
Meanwhile their son, Brandon, who had been busy applying to several colleges, was taking a break by fucking his girlfriend in his parent's hot tub.
by Tom Fool May 24, 2007
Still fixing lunches for 16 year old Bratty Tammy and her soccer-playing suburban brother Aiden? Then you're a soccer mom.Die.
by David M. Kennedy July 25, 2006
A middle aged woman who is still trying to be the prep they were when they were kids. They try to hide everything from their "beautiful precious children" and anything that isn't christian is satanic. The children are not allowed to be individual, oh goodness no!!! And of course, they have big honkin' SUVs. And they wear sweatpants. Oh. My. Gosh.
Me: *listening to Nirvana*
Soccer Mom: Please turn that atrocious music down, there are CHILDREN present!!!
Me: *turns it up*
Soccer Mom: OMYGOSH HOW DARE YOU, MY CHILD IS CORRUPTED BY YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE and did you know that my child is an honor student??
Me: *turns up music some more* Shut up bitch.
Soccer Mom: Please turn that atrocious music down, there are CHILDREN present!!!
Me: *turns it up*
Soccer Mom: OMYGOSH HOW DARE YOU, MY CHILD IS CORRUPTED BY YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE and did you know that my child is an honor student??
Me: *turns up music some more* Shut up bitch.
by huntergreen February 3, 2005
Suburban mother with 2.3 kids with hollow disciplines and automaton husbands with slowly diminishing spirits. Typically Caucasian. Their cabals are usually averted to music unfamiliar to that of their youth.
Soccer moms are mostly responsible for the gaggle of kid safe laws ranging from stop signs every two feet to inundating TV and video game ratings to the manufacture of the "V chip". They aspire to the halls of Congress and the floor of the Senate to champion causes in the name of their families at the cost of casual freedoms.
They are reclusive, passive agressive, morally ambiguous and secretive. One should be wary of traveling through a soccer mom's natural habitat as your presence will be secretly alerted to by the authorities under vague and even false suspicions.
They also reside in urban and metropolitan areas.
Soccer moms are mostly responsible for the gaggle of kid safe laws ranging from stop signs every two feet to inundating TV and video game ratings to the manufacture of the "V chip". They aspire to the halls of Congress and the floor of the Senate to champion causes in the name of their families at the cost of casual freedoms.
They are reclusive, passive agressive, morally ambiguous and secretive. One should be wary of traveling through a soccer mom's natural habitat as your presence will be secretly alerted to by the authorities under vague and even false suspicions.
They also reside in urban and metropolitan areas.
Soccer mom, ballet mom.
by Dave April 24, 2004
1. A novelty political demographic denoting white middle and upper-middle class suburban American mothers of the post-baby boom generation.
2. Women of said generation who for the most part rejected the female liberationist politik of the 70's and instead chose to define themselves through the role of homemaker and caregiver in the contemporary American family. Is differentiated from the more stereotypical "June Cleaver" of the Eisenhower-era nuclear family, however, in that "soccer moms" are as likely to be married as divorced, and generally have more progressive views on women's lib issues like abortion rights, etc. The term "soccer mom" references the role that these women have expanded on as homemakers, that of organizer and supporter of their children's athletic recreation, most significantly in their endorsement of their daughters onto traditionally male-dominated sport. Nevertheless, "soccer moms" cannot be adequately represented as being part of either a progressive or reactionary socioeconomic scheme; rather, they are something of a necessary evil of the post-industrial bourgeoisie, providing no real solutions for the problems that face contemporary life.
2. Women of said generation who for the most part rejected the female liberationist politik of the 70's and instead chose to define themselves through the role of homemaker and caregiver in the contemporary American family. Is differentiated from the more stereotypical "June Cleaver" of the Eisenhower-era nuclear family, however, in that "soccer moms" are as likely to be married as divorced, and generally have more progressive views on women's lib issues like abortion rights, etc. The term "soccer mom" references the role that these women have expanded on as homemakers, that of organizer and supporter of their children's athletic recreation, most significantly in their endorsement of their daughters onto traditionally male-dominated sport. Nevertheless, "soccer moms" cannot be adequately represented as being part of either a progressive or reactionary socioeconomic scheme; rather, they are something of a necessary evil of the post-industrial bourgeoisie, providing no real solutions for the problems that face contemporary life.
Soccer moms are disliked by the American right because they think they voted for Clinton, and disliked by the American left because they think they voted for Bush.
by Anastasia Suckemsilly December 17, 2003
A soccer mom is typically a white suburban woman aged from 30-50. They are usually picking their kids up from school and driving them to the various activities they participate in. Usually seen with an SUV, a coffee and a cell phone yelling at someone. She owns a two-story house with her husband and two/three kids with a picket fence in the front yard. They are crazy Christians who believe that anyone or anything that isn't Christian is cursed by the devil. They blame rap/rock/metal music, the Internet and video games for all the problems in the world. They believe they are always right and that their opinion matters most. They are often seen telling others what to do. They are one of the people most responsible for the dumbing down of today's society. Her kids live a life planned for them. They have to get straight A's in school. They are forced to participate in soccer, hockey and many other sports. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated higher than PG. They are not allowed to play any video games, other than a Nintendo Wii for an hour a day. They have no Internet access, the computer is for homework only. After being forced to listen to Sheryl Crow, Shania Twain and Creed all of their life, they end up becoming rebels the moment they start high school. They do drugs, they get into fights, and start bullying others. Little does the soccer mom know that her perfect little daughter is fucking the captain of her school's football team. Soccer moms make me sick.
That soccer mom yelled at me because I was playing Metallica full blast! She said it was the creation of the devil...
by Marco K. May 27, 2010