A middle aged woman who is still trying to be the prep they were when they were kids. They try to hide everything from their "beautiful precious children" and anything that isn't christian is satanic. The children are not allowed to be individual, oh goodness no!!! And of course, they have big honkin' SUVs. And they wear sweatpants. Oh. My. Gosh.
Me: *listening to Nirvana*
Soccer Mom: Please turn that atrocious music down, there are CHILDREN present!!!
Me: *turns it up*
Soccer Mom: OMYGOSH HOW DARE YOU, MY CHILD IS CORRUPTED BY YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE and did you know that my child is an honor student??
Me: *turns up music some more* Shut up bitch.