8
Funniest thing in existence.
From Episode 4 of Red Vs Blue, funniest quote IMO.

Church: Ya, I'll let 'cha in on a little secret. I've ah, I've actually got a girl back home.
Tucker: Oh ya? Girlfriend or wife?
Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend. You know, we were gonna get married, but I got shipped out, and, ah, you know how it works.
Tucker: Oh, well, are you gonna marry her when you get back?
Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Church: Hey rookie, did you just call my girlfriend a cow?
Tucker: Naw, I think he just called her a slut.
Church: I'll tell you what noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I've got an a much more important job for you to do.
Caboose: Great...
Church: See, we got this General..
Tucker: Right, the General guy.
Church: Who likes to come by, and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention. Just incase he decides to come by.
Caboose: When is he stopping by?
Tucker: We never know, could be today, could be a week from now.
Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?
Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.
Caboose: What's so important about the flag?
Church: Oh come on, don't they teach you guys anything at training?
Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?
Church: Because it's the flag. Man you know the it's the flag. Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.
Tucker: Well it's-it's complicated. Its blue, we're blue.
Church: It's just important, okay? Trust us. So when the general comes by, the first thing he's gonna want to do is inspect the flag.
Tucker: Right..
Church: So just go in there you know faraway from us and wait for him.
Caboose: How will I know when I see him?
Tucker: There's only three of us out here, rookie, he's the one new guy that doesn't look like one of us.
Church: Now get in there and don't come out. Man, that guy is dumber then you are.
Tucker: You mean, he's dumber than you are.
Church: Wow, Tucker, that was a great comeback
Caboose: Uhh.. Mr. Church sir!
Church: Oh my god. WHAT? Tucker I swear I'm gonna kill him.
Caboose: Sorry a-about calling your girlfriend a slut.
Church: ROOKIE! SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY GET IN THERE!
Tucker: Hah hah hah ha
Church: Tucker, are you laughing at me?
Donut: Excuse me, sir. Can I ask you a question?
Church: Dear God in Heaven, rookie, if I turn around and you are not inside... I- I can't be held responsible for what I'm gonna do to you.
Donut: What did I do?
Church: One...
Donut: Aw.. give me a break.
Church: Two..
Donut: Fine!
by Rich dude October 19, 2007
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9
An internet series about two sides fighting a pointless battle for a pointless war in the middle of a box canyon. There are the reds, Sarge, Grif, Simmons, and Donut, then there are the blues Church, Tex, Tucker, and Caboose.
O'Mally-Into the abyss! Never to be seen again! unless I want to be seen, in that case, if I see you before you see me...look out.
*skips*
Sheila-he took lopez!
Grif-Where is he
O'Mally-up here you fools!
donut-that guy is wicked fast!
Doc-thanks! I learned it in track in highschool, it was the least competitive sport i could find!
Grif-track sucks!
O'Mally-You suck!
by Mustache Man March 03, 2005
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10
one of the funniest animations on the net. its about a whole lotta soldier in a blocked canyon in the middle of no where on a alien planet who are fightin each other as the red team and the blue team....of course they have no fuckin clue wat theyre doin there.
Simmons: tell me again... why did we get outta the jeep?
Grif: well, i guess it was either this or watch you shoot rocks all day long.
Simmons: well at least that was fun.
------------
Church: Tucker! TUCKERRRR!!
Tucker: Who the hell are you?!
Church: I am the ghost of CHURCHHHH!! And I've come back with a WARNINGGG!!!!
Caboose: You're not Church!! Church is BLUE!!!...You're white.
by gunslingergirlvy_c_e August 09, 2005
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11
A web series in which XBox's Halo game sequences are recorded and voiced over as a sitcom.

By the way, Sarge is right. There is no motion capture in Red vs Blue. Take that, Prof Chaos!
Tejas! Tejas!

The Puma.

Is this Blue Command?
Oh, yeah, man! Sure! Totally! What's going on?
You sure? The Blue Command Base?
Hey dude, take it easy. You called me. I didn't call youuuuu....
by Heinous "Church" Dude February 02, 2004
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12
The funniest freakin thing on the net. Pay no attention to Gio as he is probably a mofo and douchebag who is to much of a n00b to understand it.
Simmons: Why warthog, sir?
Sarge: Cause, M12LRV is to hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: Yeah, but why warhog? I think it looks more like a giant cat. Like a puma.
Sarge: And what in sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: You mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, I mean like a puma. It's a giant cat.
Sarge: Youre making that up.
by CableGuy May 05, 2004
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13
An extremely popular machinima series made by using the Halo Xbox game series. The characters are placed in a boxed canyon in the middle of no-where on an alien planet. As new characters are introduced, the canyon becomes a dangerous place. The machinima has great comedy and an awesome story. The characters keep it alive.
In episode 76 of Red V.S. Blue, when Church, Doc, and Caboose are discussing the condition of Tucker once he starts getting stomach cramps and mood swings.

Church: "Tell us Doc, we can take it."

Doc: "Your friend is-"

Caboose: "Dying? Oh no!"

Doc: "No he's not dying, he just has-"

Caboose: "No chance to live? I knew it."

Church: "Caboose, one more interruption from you, and he's going to have two patients."

Doc: *sighs* "How do I say this? Your friend is-"

*long pause*

Church: "Why are you pausing? Caboose is not gonna interrupt you this time."

Doc: "No, that was just for dramatic effect. He's pregnant."

Caboose: "Oh god... Wait, what?"
by CookieMuncherMuchies July 17, 2009
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14
1. Some kind of political thing.

2. One of the best (note: your mileage may vary) machinimas out there, and better than more than half the stuff on television. Featuring at the beginning two teams fighting over a useless canyon, over time it grew into something more. In RvB: The Blood Gulch Chronicles, they start out, you get comfortable with the characters, the rookies are introduced, then Tex, Church's ex girlfriend comes in. She kills Pvt. Franklin Delano Donut, the Red rookie. Later, "Doc" DuFresne comes in and heals both teams. Before the Reds and Blues try to save Church and Griff and stop O'Malley(an AI), who has taken over Doc, hired a dangerous freelancer from Tex's past (Agent Wyoming), and of course convinced the Reds' robot, Lopez, to join them. After a freak accident with the weather machine (you have to see it) the everyone but Church is sent to the future (in Halo 2 maps), while he is sent to the past (Marathon maps). Church tries to fix the bad things that happen in Blood Gulch, but ends up causing them. He eventually gets back to the future (not the movie lol) and eventually the Reds and Blues find the future version of Blood Gulch, and crazy shit goes on. Tucker gets impregnated by an alien, has a baby, Griff's sister comes and joins the Blue Team and in the end.... You have to see it. No, seriously. I can't tell you the awesomeness and funny in this. It'd be kinda like dividing by zero. Later there are more series, but I have no more room. Alas...
Some Red VS Blue quotes:

Sarge: Ah!!! Repent! Repent!
Donut: Sarge, you're not in hell!

Simmons: Griff and I are on a peninsula-
Sarge: YOU'RE ON GRIFF'S WHAT!?
Simmons:We're on a LEDGE! PENINSULAR LEDGE!

Doc: You'd be surprised what Caboose'll do for a cookie and some juice!
Caboose: Church... If I die... I want you to have my cookie!
by Darth Anonyseudonym January 03, 2010
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