A bizarre and disturbing affliction restricted to the female population and brought on by rapid aging/degeneration. Sufferers develop vertically lined, Pinocchio-like semi-detached mouths that may or may not be operated using invisible strings above their heads. The super-morbidly obese are normally safe from Puppet Mouth, with the notable exception of brontosaurus-boned Heather from Eastenders.
'Hell, Jools, can you turn the channel over? I can't look at that old crow Deirdre's Puppet Mouth any longer, it's ruining Corrie for me!'