'Qualifications' which are only good in proving that you are a cunt. Word derived from Certificate and Cunt, obviously.
Billy: Dad! Dad, I got that GNVQ in Bussiness Studies, that I spent the last two years trying to obtain
Billie's Sickened Father: Right. Shall I put it up on the wall with the half GCSE in Plantology, or next to your degree in Internet Reuters and Their Signals? Yet another cuntificate you've come home with. Boy, I'm dissapointed in you.