1. A skewbald or piebald (US paint) horse whose attitude to life is such that it causes those who encounter him to doubt the soundness of mind of the horse and indeed the owner/rider.

2. A complete bellend of a horse who appears to be offended by mediocrity, so his decision-making and antics ensure his lack of talent in his chosen discipline is masked by the chaos, comedy and damage caused to property and person.

3. Generally a shite eventer.

Insurance Claims person “So you hadn’t even left the yard and you expect me to believe that the horsebox just... fell apart?”

Owner “No. wait. The patchy twat took offence to the partition and galloped through the horsebox before he realised the front ramp wasn’t down.”

Insurance claim person. “Oh.... that’s fine. Claim approved. You probably should have mentioned that your horse is a patchy twat at the start of the call.”

Patchy Twat by ShiteEventer December 12, 2020

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Patchy twat

'Patchy' is any multi coloured horse and 'twat' meaning idiot, stupid or downright naughty pony, can also be written as one word 'patchytwat'

Tried riding today but my horse is being a right patchy twat

Patchy twat by Nupty dumpty December 13, 2020

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Patchy Twat

A skewbald or piebald horse that spends considerably more time trying to embarrass it’s rider (often by throwing them off) than it does trying to clear a fence/complete a dressage test/follow any other instructions. Often ridden by a shit eventer.

The patchy twat threw me at the first fence in the cross country today

Patchy Twat by Poppy B December 12, 2020

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patchy twat

A word used to describe a coloured/skewbald/piebald/paint/pinto horse when it behaves in an undesirable way.

My patchy twat just bolted down the road because he saw his own reflection in a puddle.

patchy twat by demhorses December 12, 2020

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