Top Definition
1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.

1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.
by jim christ May 12, 2008
Denotes a sex act whereby one coats thier cock in raspberry jam and ass fucks another person.
This freaky ho couldnt get enough so I gave her the monte christo so she would shut the hell up and I could get some sleep.
by SrBlanco January 24, 2005
When one jerks off, cums in to the air, then proceedso to catch it in there mouth. Much like one would do with a m&m.
Me: I'm hungry dude.
friend: just have a Monte Cristo bro.
by Mastodon April 09, 2015
A Monte Cristo is a slang term for having sex during a lunch break. Used interchangeably with nooner. Its usefullness comes from the fact that a Monte Cristo is also a popular sandwich, so a the term can be used to disguise one's actions around unknowing co-workers.
'How was your Monte Cristo, Nigel?'
by Austin in Brooklyn August 31, 2006
When a stripper coppulates your thumb and then inserts said thumb into her asshole while in the context of a lap dance.
Gideon got montecristoed at the Cheetah Club last night and spent an inordinate amount of time washing his hands afterwards.
by Ash666 May 29, 2016
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