Wearing a monocle on each eye to make it look like one is wearing glasses.
"Anyone can wear glasses...but it takes skill to manage wearing Bi-monocles."
by randymachomansavage11 November 16, 2011
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The phrase "Monocle Swap" refers to a sexual act being performed by two distinguished and exceedingly classy/cultured individuals, of any gender combination. (male/female, female/female, and male/male monocle swaps are all possible.)

The act can be described as follows: Mid-coitus (in any variation/position) the two involved parties simply exchange eyewear (in this case, a monocle or two) in a gesture of extreme intimacy and respect for each other. This can be considered as the sexual equivalent of a hat-tip on excellent sexual performance and prowess.

It has even been documented that the act of monocle-swapping itself has lead to intense orgasms and the formulation of "Great American Novels" and speeches of note.
"I say! Last night's monocle swap with George was the finest I do believe I've ever had! Simply smashing"

"Really, old bean? Well, then. I shall bequeath my monocle onto Cynthia's face tonight... along with a little something extra!"

*mutual laughter and pipe smoking ensues*
by Funcommunist June 7, 2012
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Similar to a mayonaise monocle but actually in the eye, causing a burning sensation to the victim.
See seagulling.

Holy damn, thats no seagull - I've got a hot monocle!
by I'm not Tom! June 28, 2004
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The result of ejaculating in another persons eye. Also known as 'pink eye'.
I gave your mother a hot monocle last night.
by Baulchy666 August 17, 2009
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When a basketball player uses only one hand to create the commonly-referenced "three-goggles" after making a three pointer. The gesture is made by putting the okay sign (a circle made from your thumb and index finger, with other three fingers outwards) up to only one eye, Mr. Peanut style.
Wow, Kevin Durant's on fire tonight - he even busted out a Three Monocle after his 4th trey!
by msquared June 10, 2012
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When a load of ejaculate is shot into only one eye of a recipient, and then dribbles down the face. The likely results of sitting up after recieving a pearl eye patch.
After I gave her the old pearl monocle she looked a little like that guy from monopoly.
by chowderlap July 12, 2008
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this is what you call the spunk dripping from the freshly violated ocular cavity of a one-eyed person.
"dude, you banged that one-eyed chick?"
"yeah! i couldn't believe it when she asked me to give her a mississippi monocle. she's a freak!"
by bobmanob March 12, 2009
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