Sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen
Don't knock masturbation -- it's sex with someone I love.

Woody Allen in Annie Hall, 1977
by mandingoe November 07, 2005
Pulling and pumping your hard penis up and down to achieve an orgasm. At this stage your penis will ejaculate hot, sticky stuff all over your hands and then slowly go soft.
One time i was masturbating in my room fully naked when my brother came in and I was caught in the act. He could not have walked in at a worse time as I was about to come. I quickly stood up to hide myself but i was past the point of return and sperm pumped into my palms as i hid my dick. It dripped through my fingers and the orgasm was so powerful i let out a few pathetic gasps. I still cannot look my brother in the eyes. I lock the door now when I have a masturbation session.
by Callum69 May 24, 2009
a normal way of relieving horniness. it actually is healthy and its better than going aroung getting pregnant lyk a hoe.
masturbation is normal. only prudes are agianst it. just dont do it in public.....
by jennylovesean April 10, 2006
a simple form of "stress-release"
Jake: "Dude, there is too much homework here man; too much stress for me."
Dude: "Try masturbation, it's stress release"
Jake: "Yeah, thats right. Hey man, I'm going to need pictures of your sister then."
Dude: "Oh yeah sure."
by indigotenta October 23, 2007
to pleasure ones self
when i got home on friday, i was thinking of edward cullen and his cold, wet things. Then i got really wet, needing something to get me over this, i slipped into bed, took off my underwear, and hoisted my legs up into the air, starting the masturbation process.

Then i rubbed my pussy, wondering how long i could tantalize myself before i would explode, then i started rubbing with two fingers, getting hornier. i slipped one finger in, but that wasn't enough. I slipped another in, then another. FInally i started the fingering, and then i rubbed my breasts, and started moving my fingers up and down instead of in and out. I could feel my breasts shaking as i was pleasuring myself. I cringed, my toes spreading, my back curling up. I went harder and faster, then slowing down, waiting a while, then i shook harder and faster and exploded into vaginal throbbing. My heart was racing and my breasts were tingiling, and my toes were uncurling. OH YES YES YES
by edwardisthesexistmanalive December 08, 2008
a way to stay faithfulto your girl.

you do it cause: youre horny/bored/to kill time/just because its a habit.
masturbation is a great way to relieve horniness or just cause youre bored.
by August 26, 2006
The thing everybody does, but no one will admit to doing.

Also called

Jacking off
Beating the meat
Person 1: Do you masturbaste?

Person 2: Uh... no... of course not... do you?

Person 1: No... why would I do that... It's gross...

Person 2: Of course... masturbation is bad...
by Teh Sexinator May 03, 2009
What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.
Make sure everyone in the house doesnt need to take a poop before you start your Masturbation session!
by Itakelongshowers May 05, 2010

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