One of the greatest joys in life. Discovered (hopefully) when you go through puberty.
Andrew Dice Clay: Masturbation is king. Oh yeah, you know it, I know it so who are we bullshittin'?
by tenaciousd6936 August 19, 2006
What your 12 year old Son or Daughter starts doing once their showers go from 5 minutes to 45 minutes in length.
Make sure everyone in the house doesnt need to take a poop before you start your Masturbation session!
by Itakelongshowers May 05, 2010
Masturbation: A practice of exorcism used to expel the inner demons which torments a man or woman.
"It wasn't my fualt! I was cleaning it then it went off!"

Masturbation is healthy, it keeps you from doing stupid things.
by Zogato March 04, 2006
is not a crime!

one of the few things, thats fun but not a crime
'but sarge, that dirty old woman shouldn'y have been looking in the first place, besides, im sure its not her first experience of masturbation''
by tommy060289 July 14, 2006
The act of stimulating ones own sex organs. Regarded as "empowering" when done by a woman; regarded as "gross" when done by a man.
Girl #1 "Like, ohmygod, I just bought a new dildo, and masturbated all night long last night!"
Girl #2: "Like, omygod, you are like so empowered, and sexually liberated, and stuff!"
Girl #1: Like, I totally know, right? Masturbation is Amazing!

Girl #1: "Like, ohmygod, I totally caught my boyfriend masturbating the other day!"
Girl #2: Like, ohmygod, what a PIG. That's like, sooo gross.
Girl #1: Like, I totally know, right? Masturbation is Disgusting.
by your fat momma September 14, 2009
1. America's number one past-time.
2. Reasons why many kittens die.
1.
Dude 1: "Dude you wanna go party or something?"
Dude 2: "Nah... I'm gonna participate in the great American past-time."
Dude 1: "Ahh... masturbation."

2.
Dude 1: "Dude that kitten just died."
Dude 2: "Ahh shit, I shouldn't have masturbated last night."
by thewhorewhoisjerome August 02, 2007
The act of having sex by yourself, sort of. Chances are someone in your vicinity is doing it at this very moment.
Masturbation should be king.
by captainfugu June 17, 2007

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