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1.
A Martard is a delusional blonde who thinks that lightning will strike twice in the form of 2 Stanley Cup visits to the state of California. Martards are easily distinguished by their shameless love of Arricks and their pleasing demeanor. When you encounter a Martard, leave them in their natural environment as picking them up may cause other Martards to no longer recognize them and even go so far as to disown them. Martards are a fragile bunch and although they are stunningly cute, they do not make good pets. Injured Martards should immediately be given 6 bottles of beer and released in the nearest Octopus-free body of water.

Although the word was originally believed to have been made to taunt a pretty girl who had an unnatural obsession with Patrick "No Show" Marleau, recent rumors place the origin of this word closer to an individual's obsession with Mustard.
You silly Martard, get off my nuts!

Oh Martard, you make me giggle.

Oh no! That Martard just got flattened by Kronwall!

Watch out Martard, there's Ducks in that water! QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK.
by ArrickW May 28, 2009
 
2.
An aspiting martyr who is so retarded that he claims only his own life in pursuit of killing others.
That suicide bomber who killed himself in Stockholm was a total martard!
by Joe the Plumber 123 December 13, 2010