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ream of the ancient mariner

This requires the use of a dead albatross and a dirty old sailor. While engaged in doggystyle intercourse, tie the dead albatross around her neck, and while she is struggling to remove the filthy animal, quickly switch places with a dirty old sailor, who will give her a good jabbin' and the surprise of her life. Can be combined with the Rodeo. Perfect for breakup scenarios.
I wanted to end it with Jill, so I contracted a dirty old sailor, caught an albatross at the pier, and ended our relationship with a ream of the ancient mariner.
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Mariner's Bukkake

A meterelogocal phenomenon that occurs at sea. Describes a short period when a ship is surrounded by heavy wind and rain in every compass direction. Leaving sailors soaking wet and often humilated. Often occurs on the Newfoundland Grand Banks.
Ronnie: Jesus Christ! Where did all this wind and rain come from?

Skipper: Lord Jesus Ronnie! Get off the deck! We're stuck in the middle of a Mariner's Bukkake!

Merchant Mariner 

We sailors aboard merchant ships. We have the credential that says so.
I got my Merchant Marine Credential which means Im a merchant mariner but what the hell is the TWIC for?

salty mariner 

When you jerk off in the front/bow of a ship and the cum flys in the wind hitting someone in the face and they lick it off themselves.. mmmmm a salty mariner
Go to the stern, I’m about to pull a salty mariner
salty mariner by Jontssss May 16, 2021

markiera 

A very beautiful girl with one of the best smiles you will ever see. She’s got the best personality, funny and fun to be around and one of the best girls to get with. This is one you would consider marrying. Overall she is just the best thing that could ever happen to you.
Tj: Hey, you seen Markiera?
Don: Yeah, saw her beautiful smile from a mile away. I wish she was mine.
Tj: Me too man.
markiera by Beastgod386 January 23, 2018

Seattle Mariners 

Mariners beat the A's again, what else is new?
Seattle Mariners by KRHimself April 23, 2004

butt mariner 

Guy who where's Seattle mariners hat and can navigate butts well