a substance that squirts from a tube like a caulk gun, such as sealer, glue, or, of course, caulk.
put a squirt of lettuce on that drawer to keep it stuck together
by ubernostrum June 15, 2004

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Hilarious - Really Funny

Not sure of the origin, but it works well to describe anything that is funny.
1. That comedian last night was fucking lettuce! I couldn't stop laughing.

2. Person 1: "What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A Senator."

Person 2: "Lettuce!"
by Brainbarf July 12, 2013

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Lettuce as in something organic and delicious for you to eat. Referring to the concept of becoming intimate with a woman for the first time. The Lettuce suggests that the two of you have been building up to this event for some time and that this is not a superfluous moment but instead the start of some very serious long term fucking.
Rose and I had known each other for years and we both knew that it was time we got down to it. So I said, " Shall I have some of your Lettuce."
by A-Paul_ing_behavior January 27, 2009

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a skinny woman who prides herself on her lack of caloric intake, usually a perpetual tracker of Weight Watcher points
Skinny girl: "Anyone want to split this M&M with me?"
All the other girls: "OOOOh, that bitch is so lettuce!"
by AlbinoMuffCabbage November 29, 2010

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The act of receiving an oral blow job.
I lay back and get some lettuce; call it a wrap.
by Devin that Dude April 05, 2009

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The excess pubic hair in a woman's vaginal area that creeps or otherwise protrudes out her panties
I looked up her skirt, and saw the lettuce from her "FUPA" pouring out of her thong
by Ronald V. Mexico September 06, 2008

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A vegetable grown in the the soil. An all season vegetable that is grown. Can at times have ADD, but nonetheless they are the best vegetables out there.

Most often go by the name Ahmad or Kawoos!!

can be found at your neighbourhood fresh slice pizza, and or metrotown Espirit locations
Lettuce came running in to the crowd of people and told a good joke.
by urbanTurban321 November 05, 2010

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1) No substance, full of water.

2) an altogether useless individual, or group of people.

3) Plural forms include salad, head of, or clump. Brings to mind a wet squoshy piece of crap.
That public employee is a real piece of lettuce.
by Myller August 26, 2010

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