An Asian, high-waisted, tall child with feminine hips that tries to keep burning the candle at both ends while listening to "What's New Pussycat" on repeat. His life was forever changed when he went, "Oooooooohhhhhhhhh," and, "I'm sorry!" Overall, he is the tall, lanky Irishman that got pushed by a homeless, gay, AIDS-full man, looks like his kindergarten portrait with baggy eyes and yellowed teeth, and gets confused with a woman a shit ton.
John Mulaney: I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup - you see in movies - and I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out and I guess someone said like, "Something, something, police," and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, "FUCK da police! FUCK da police," and everyone else joined in: 100 drunk, white children yelling, "Fuck 'da' police," with the confidence of guys that have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore. You know that, like "I served my nickel! You come and take me!" confidence, but white children.
by MastermindOfTrouble March 1, 2020
Diner Guest 1: Did you see that little asshole John Mulaney who put Whats New Pussycat on the Jukebox 21 times?
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
Diner Guest 2: At least they put in "It's Not Unusual"!
by MotharChod June 6, 2018
by spicyKnees April 8, 2020
A lanky catholic man who is commonly mistaken for an asian that tickles the imagination with his graceful and mind boggling comedy. One might also ask, what are three other things about him?! To which I would respond "he has a penis, accidentally chases women through subway stations, and cannot be trusted without a horse by his side. Overall 10/10 would smash if given the chance ;) Also, John Mulaney if you are reading this plz divorce ur wife and call 673-854-1111
sally from group 2's parent: "wow who came up with the name for your reading group sally?"
Sally from group 2: "its that tall asian kid, John Mulaney!"
Sally from group 2's parent: "oh, stay away from that kid! There has got to be something wrong with him, he's asian and in group 2"
Sally from group 2: "its that tall asian kid, John Mulaney!"
Sally from group 2's parent: "oh, stay away from that kid! There has got to be something wrong with him, he's asian and in group 2"
by cootercrusher58 November 26, 2019
by Sarcastic-comedian April 11, 2021
A comedian that got his start as a writer on Saturday Night Live from 2008-2012 (Seasons 34-38). He has three stand-up comedy specials on Netflix, not including his broadway play “Oh, Hello” with college friend Nick Kroll and “The Sack Lunch Bunch,” his musical special with roughly fifteen kids and Jake Gyllenhaal. He is one of the best stand-up comedians in the country and has won various awards for his witty jokes.
Person 1: Have you ever watched “New In Town” on Netflix? It’s really funny.
Person 2: Of course! I love John Mulaney!
Person 2: Of course! I love John Mulaney!
by the goddamn door July 25, 2021
by Absolute twat September 25, 2020