look up any word, like darude - sandstorm:
 
1.
A guy with an enormous dick.
Also known as Yao
This guy must be called Joao, his dick is huge!
by a dirty girl2 March 23, 2009
 
2.
Joao is the name for the upmost kindest, sweetest person on earth. He is very caring and a great friend. Very understanding and loyal to his loved ones. If he wishes to he could be the most horrible person, BUT he doesn't and chooses to be the complete opposite. He has very cute facial features which makes you want to just pinch his cheaks. And he is the FUNNIEST person on earth!

He also has a great taste in music and friends. His knowledge is commendable. You will find him getting great marks through out all subject from art- Maths

He is a very creative person and has a lot to say about everything hence he is not afraid to put his opinion across. His sense of humour is amazing.

And finally he is a babe magnet!
Laura: i hate Hayden
Connie: same! She's so arrogant!
Joao: awh guys! Leave her alone!!! Shes really nice!
by Tulip07 January 17, 2014
 
3.
A pint of beer, cider or other alcoholic beverages in reference to João Pinto, the Portuguese footballer.
Fancy going to the pub for a joão?
by thirtysecondhero December 10, 2010
 
4.
A extremely homosexual guy who usually like to do Tyler in the ass hole. Usually has a very small dick which explains his uncontrollable temper
Mark "Hey joao ur taping tyler right?"
Joao "of course man. Is that even a question?"
by zuxvns December 19, 2012