Jizz Hands

Hands that are covered in a generous layer of semen, usually after having given multiple hand jobs. Jizz hands make completing everyday tasks a real hassle.

*Phone rings*

Mom: "Sweetheart, can you answer my phone. I have jizz hands at the moment. You're father packs one hell of a load!"

Son: "Ok."

*Son answers phone with a fresh pair of jizz hands of his own after spanking his meat, covering the phone in a crucible of hot semen*

by nolstar December 17, 2016

Jizz Hands

The act of cumming into your hands and then shaking them vigorously.

"After sex, I like to do jizz hands to celebrate."

by John Locke 'n' Load September 22, 2017

jizz hands

A display of jazz hands that occurs following a gay musical or dance number, during which another performer's semen is deposited onto the hands of the guilty party.

I wanted to shake Eric's hand after his performance, but decided not to when he ended with a bow and jizz hands.

by Lady marmalade April 5, 2008

Jizz hands

1.) An air blowjob, complete with money shot.

2.) Your hands after you're done masturbating. If done too much, it can be like a rain dance and cause the sky to rain cum.

1.)I was so hot I went and jizz handed the fan.

2.) After masturbation, it's awesome to hold your jizz hands to the sky and let the rain cum.

by Zephyrzkingdom August 12, 2010

jizz hands

Not to be confused with jazz hands. A temporary condition that occurs when a guy finishes masturbating, primarily in the shower, and he looks down at his hands to see some jizz still there. He tries to wash it off, bit it just stays on his hand, then moves to the other hand, then back. He finally gets it off and onto the shower floor after like 5 minutes of trying. This is why you have to make sure the jizz hits the floor, not your hands.

Gary: ...ahhhhhh...
Gary: Okay, now I'm done fapping and can now focus on my sad, lonely existence. Let me just look at my hands before I wash my hair - wait, what? Dammit, I guess I got jizz hands.

by 508gang June 26, 2017

Jazzy Jizz Hand Whore Slap

When you get so excited you cum in the palm of your own hand and slap someone in the mouth with it.

(Two Guys at a club)

Guy 1: "Man look at this girl, her ass is so fine I really need to talk to her".
Guy2: "Why don't you show her how much you really think she's hot? Go give her a "Jazzy Jizz hand whore slap"
Guy1: "Yes yes that is brilliant! a great opening like that can't go wrong. Where is the closest bathroom in case I make a mess?"

by noshame August 29, 2014

Jizz Pan Hands

A dermatological condition by which long term exposure to lotion, moisturizers and jizz results in wrinkly fingers, palms and hands. Similar to 'dish pans hands'

Don't do a handshake with Bobby. He's been surfing pornsites and has those jizz pan hands.

by rpalms September 5, 2009