1. What a man does when his penis erects into a throbbing, veiny, pulsating, kinetic hard-on, stroking the shaft repeatedly up and down with his hand until the penis barfs up massive amounts of white-nut vomit in either a clean, streaming squirt or in a gelatonous, oozing mass.

2. To make one's dick sneeze, throw up, explode, ejaculate, cough up white blood, splooge, climax, orgasm, erupt, belch, detonate, spew, or spit, possibly on another person's face.

3. A person who amounts to nothing, or should not be taken seriously.
1. "Boy, I just watched too much Full House, I need to go jack off".

2. ".. and then she got down on her knees and I jacked off all over her face".

3. "Dude, you need to get up off of your ass and quit watching gay porn, you good for nothing jack off".
by Mr. Friscus February 02, 2010
reason my right arm is much bigger than my left
Kid to anothr kid: holy shit! look at his arm
another kid: omfg
(they sees his left arm)
kid: ohhhh.....he probbly jack off
anothr kid: lets add that to our arm workout bro
by jjtheblack October 01, 2011
1. Adjective: When a person or a group of people mess around and get absolutely nothing accomplished and just have fun. No sexual conduct of any kind is made.

2. Verb: When one decides to rub their genitals; See Masturbate, Masturbation. Sexual conduct can be made.
Example 1:

Guy 1: Hey man, you should join our Rugby Team, all we do is jack off during practice. It'll be fun

Guy 2: What kind of jacking off? Throw balls at each other? or just mess around and have fun?

Guy 1: Yeah, mess around man, not masturbate

Example 2:

Guy 1 sticks hand in pants and grabs genitals

by whathe12 November 12, 2011
Noun: A person, either male or female, who wastes a car salesperson's time when that salesperson could be doing something either more constructive or entertaining. Used as the strongest epithet for a non-buyer in the retail automotive industry.
"Would you believe that fucking Jack-off had Johnny test drive him in three cars then left without so much as a writeup!!" Also, "Beat it, you Jack-off!" Frequently shortened to "Jack", such as "What a Jack!"
by daxwes September 18, 2009
Same as "jerk off" (masturbate); also used as a noun to reference a feckless, no-account person, usu. male.

Up until the 1980s, "jack off" was considered more a Southern (USA) locution than "jerk off," which was considered more urban and Northeastern/Midwestern states. Considerable swapping around has taken place in the meantime, probably because of increased social mobility and relaxed codes of censorship.
1)...All little Timmy can talk about is sex. If I weren't so polite, I'd have told him to go get laid, or to jack off in a corner...

2)...'If y'all boys didn't jack off so much, you might amount to something.'... (closet-case coach to members of the high-school basketball team in 1971 movie THE LAST PICTURE SHOW).
by al-in-chgo April 10, 2011
To wank your dick.
Jakum had a boner in pe so he went to the toilet but when he arrived he saw a Jack off centre!

There were boys relieving themselves everywhere! He got his big dick out and jacked off ! He wanked his dick until he shot a load out !

A few minutes later the pe teacher arrived , his face droped but he joined in the wanking club. !
by yep9 July 20, 2014
Can be used as a noun to refer to a guy who wastes time, is a complete loser, and cannot get anything done. This guy may well be popular with friends, the ladies, and whomever he meets, but has never accomplished anything and never will. Anything he has tried to achieve has ended up in disaster.
That Kramer on Seinfeld sure is funny even if he is a complete jack off.

Steve, did you complete the final report so you can graduate from high school next week?

No. I'm such a complete jack off that I never get anything done.

Smoking pot will really just turn you into a lazy jack off.
by achyhead November 22, 2005
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